the golden fish and the red eyed crow (tgcf au)

~{ O^O sorry!!!}~

im sorry for EXTREMELY late updates i am the worst with time management especially when it comes to writing stories. I've been writing two separate fan-fictions while writing this one so that i can post them and not have to write every day then post. i also constantly need to re-check what i've previously written so i am very sorry for my slow posting/writing.

anyways continuing my story that im unsure of what to do with >u<!!!!!! [ive figured out some idea] 

________________________________________________________________________________

as they finished eating there food xie liian started to pick up the food and brought it to the kitchen smiling mostly forgetting the previous argument mu qing and hua cheng had. xie lian goes into the kitchen and places all the dishes into the sink and starts washing it as it makes him slightly calmer from the previous heated argument.

xie lian finishes washing dishes than goes outside to get a breath of fresh air. he leans onto the edge of the fence preventing him from falling overboard. as he looked down at the ocean waves he questioned to himself why jun wu was suddenly so worried about him was it change of heart? pity? curiosity? whatever the reason was xie lian didn't care enough to risk going into the deep and dark sea of the heavenly capital, he held nothing against anyone who resided inside the capital due to their godly acension into the courts but xie lian refused to go back, no matter how many times jun wu would attempt to call him back xie lian refused, he had to much unpleasant memories connected to the place.

 xie lian started to remember things about the capital he truly wished to forget, he remembered things such as his best friends leaving him for a better life, he remembered how he almost forgot his own name after his parent disappeared due to unfortunate circumstances, he remembered how evry god would speak ill about him behind his back and act as though he was deaf and apathetic and wouldn't care about hurtful messages directed towards his character such as calling him worthless, pointless, garbage, waste of space and other rude titles.

the memories flooded his mind like the ocean had been flooded with water, his head was foggy and he couldn't think straight, he stared daggers in the ocean as if the ocean had taken his best friends, as if the ocean had taken his parents, as if the ocean took his will to continue on in this world rather than turning into forgotten sushi of the ocean no fish or shark would dare even attempt to eat out of fear of the bad luck.

memories of people whom he thought were his peers leered into the back of his mind constantly reminding him that in fact no one truly loved him for who he was they only loved him for who he was presented to be, the prince who pleased the gods, the prince with no flaw, the prince who was too caring, the prince who gave it his all only to fall. 

memories filled his head of blood smeared on walls as he cried in agony and ripped his hair and took a sword to his on throat to copy the act of his parents but ultimately failing to do so. he remembered staring at his reflection and crying, he remembered stabbing himself in an attempt to recall why it was he cared so much about his people, to remember why he loved them, to remember how much he gave an how little was returned, to remember why it was him, why they hated him so much and finally to remember why it was him that the world chose to take from why he had to be the one to lose it all and fall from his grace.

                                                          ~-------------------------------------------------~

as xie lians mind wandered to unknown lands he stared into the deep blue sea as he felt something stream down his face and fall a top his hand, it was a tear. xie lian wiped his eyes to get the tears off his face only to realize he had been crying for quite some time. he wiped and wiped his face to remove the tears but nothing prevented his eyes from turning into faucets and leaking without a stop in sight. xie lian was upset that he had grown so week during the time he had been with hua cheng, he started questioning what he was even doing on the ship what purpose he stood in hua chengs life.