"Open this door! Open this door right now Leonardo!!" Mkhulu yells from the other side, banging on my door.
My heartbeat rings through my ears and everything else blurs out except for the sound of my harsh breathing. A searing pain in my chest, begging me to let it all out.
Sitting on the floor by my bed, I hold the brewing storm within me. My eyes glossing over,my hands in tight fists and my head hung low.
Hot angry tears trail down my cheeks and I furiously wipe them away remembering how I said I wouldn't waste any tears on her.
"Open this door Leonardo!!"
Mkhulu continues to yell, on the other side and every part of me wants to let him in but this flame within me just wants to burn alone.
Besides, I know that the only reason he's banging on my door like this is because he's expecting me to erupt in burning rage.
He's expecting me to be blinded by anger any moment from now.
And it hurts…
It hurts me to know that this anger is what's typically expected of me. It's what seems to define me.
"Just go away Mkhulu, please" I croak out, the words painful.
I just want to be left alone.
He stops banging but I hear him slumping by the door.
Staying.
"Why'd you have to do this to me?Why does she have to come here?!Why can't she just go someplace else?"
"She lost her job Leonardo " Mkhulu answers, everything about his tone sounding like he doesn't want to poke the bear.
"I don't care if she lost her job!!"
"Where must she go then?"
"I don't care! I don't care! I just don't want her here!"
He continues to explain the situation to me but like before I just don't want to listen.I find myself standing up because sitting doesn't help anymore. I blur out God's voice even though I know it's wrong. Even though I know it grieves his spirit when I do that.
She's coming back here and not out of her own will but only because she's helpless. Only because she lost her job. I can't believe this!!
I mean mothers like this actually exist. What did I do wrong to get a mother like that?
What?!
The anger within me brews a violent storm in my heart making me see red and from that moment on all I hear is the sound of everything crashing. The sound of everything falling apart.
I kick at the night stand, it falls violently on the floor making the lamp break into a million pieces. I flip the bed upside down pulling at the sheets. I shove everything off my black desk and the papers fly up like a snow storm.
Everything breaks, tumbles and falls. Everything spills and crashes.
I stand in the midst of the mess I made. In the eye of the storm, my fists clenched. My harsh breaths become shorter and I fall to my knees, sobbing.
"I hate you Mkhulu. All this time you acted like you were on my side. I hate you so much!! I hate you more than anything!"
The words taste vile on my tongue like a poison I drink willingly and I cry even harder because I know I don't mean those words.
But at this moment I want him to believe I completely mean those words.
When it's all over I hear the sound of the last thing crashing. It's my door. It has fallen violently to the ground, leaving an echo of a painful silence.
YOU ARE READING
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
