Timmy's on my back, holding onto my shoulders and laughing loudly in my ears every time a joke is said. We walk towards his home, all our thoughts mostly kept to ourselves.
Olivia's brows are furrowed, her lips pulled into a line. She's worried. I try to ease the tension, making up stories and jokes as we go but the burden hangs over us, like a cloud.
Timmy actually ran away.
I can think of a number of times when I wanted to run away as a child. I once wrote a letter, talking about how I'd find a better life somewhere, where people didn't shout at me. Unlike Timmy, I'd always crumple the paper, throw it away, eat supper and go to sleep, forgetting all about my schemes.
“Question 33,” Olivia pulls me out of my thoughts. Her eyes mirror mine with irises soaked in thought.
“—You guys are still doing that weird thing you did before.” Timmy complains.
“If you think falling is weird then yes,” I tell him with a smile.
Timmy grunts, his annoyance made clear.
“Just because your leg isn't injured this time Timmy, doesn't mean it's safe.” I tighten my hold on his leg and the young boy laughs, a jovial sound.
My eyes find Olivia's. She smiles, the look in her eyes, soft and intimate.
Olivia pulls out her phone, searching for the question. When she finds it, she reads it out.
“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?”
A silence ensues, thoughtful. I don't even have to think of my answer.
Olivia starts out, her voice softer. “ My mother. I would regret not telling her how much I love her…how much I appreciate her.” She pauses then as an afterthought she adds, “Expressing love in my house is weird. It's always awkwardly brushed off or seems as if you want something. This goes back to the thing about there not being any space to be vulnerable.”
I want to say something, but the look in Olivia's eyes tells me that she'd rather I not respond to this at all. It's just another thing to receive about her, another thing to know, intimately about her.
“ I guess I'd say Mkhulu but I do wanna say that this past year, we've both opened up more to each other. I would regret not telling him how much he means to me, and the thing is…” I pause trying to find the right words, they don't come.
The words stay on the tip of my tongue, teasing, frustrating. “The thing is I feel like I'll never be able to explain, put into words or even show how much he means to me. Even though I have the rest of my life with him, it doesn't feel like enough… I'm glad I get to live my life with him”
I feel the dampness on the back of my shirt first. Then the wet drop lands on my shoulder and it's clear that Timmy's crying.
Olivia's eyes are alarmed, she's frozen not knowing what to do.
Timmy's still carried on my back so I can't see him, but I hear the sniffles. He tries his best to control himself.
Olivia looks away, giving his emotions, his vulnerability— respect.
“I'm sorry.” Timmy says, his voice clogged with emotion. “I didn't mean to ruin…the moment.”
“You did nothing wrong Timmy.” I reassure him.
“Do you want to answer the question?” Olivia asks, looking up at him.
“I'd like that.” Timmy says, a smile in the tone of his voice.
ESTÁS LEYENDO
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
