36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!

Chapter 32: Fear and Fish In The Sea

It's not in the bathroom that I find Olivia. It's on the roof of the restaurant where a few people chill, keeping to themselves. The moment I push the door open, the night air breezes past me.

Olivia stands by the corner in her simple glory, staring up at the stars.
I make my way towards her, a little hesitant.

I'm standing behind her and I know she can feel my presence from the way her back tenses.

"Leonardo," she breathes and I'm shocked she knows it's me. I place my hand on her shoulder, slowly turning her around.

I'm relieved to see that she isn't crying but her eyes swim with fear.

"Tell me what's wrong, Olivia."

She stays quiet.

She looks away not willing to meet my gaze but I lift her chin so she doesn't escape me. Her coffee brown eyes meet mine, the same ones I fell in love with at the beginning of this year.

I want to see her up close where nothing can be hidden.

Where no barriers can be built because we're that close.

"You don't just spring this on people, Leonardo."

"..."

"You can't just expect me to get up on stage and sing just because you brought me out of the house and you, your grandfather and Dominique sing before me. It's not that easy. If it was that easy. I would have done it awhile ago."

"No one said anything about it being easy Olive but does this mean we don't do the hard stuff in life. I promise you they're the most rewarding."

" I hear you but not now..." her brown eyes silently plead to me.

"At least you should have told me so I could have prepared myself. I'm not going up there Leo. I'm not going to make a fool of myself in front of people."

"Why do you care what people think about you?" I can't help but be a little frustrated now.

I get that she's shy but she doesn't understand that everything she wants is at the edge of fear. She doesn't understand that this fear will hold her back from truly living her life.

And I know I said I would nudge but maybe some people need that push!

Olivia's face twists in offense, she looks away, I don't stop her.

"I don't care what people say." There's underlying bitterness to her voice that shocks me. " But they still talk anyway. Even when you don't want to hear it. Even when you try to ignore it, they still talk and they're words get to your head and, ugh! Never mind." She stops herself, her eyes burning with tears.

"Olivia, I love you and because I love you I want you to follow your dreams. Look at what happened to me. Because of my fear I was unable to speak to you for a whole year. I lost a whole year with you in highschool and I'm never getting that back but it's only when I pushed past fear... " I exhale.

"I proposed this whole 36 Questions thing while scared and because of that we're here today. It's day 24 but it feels like 24 years. It's like I know you better than my left hand. I know the taste of your lips. I know how to make you laugh. I know you and there's still so much I don't know but I'm excited to get to unravel all that I don't know but I wouldn't be here- We wouldn't be here if I stayed scared..."

Olivia's eyes soften, her lips pulled together, like she's stopping herself from whimpering.

For a second I think that I'm getting through to her, that she's going to take another leap of faith with me.