36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!

Chapter 39: Forgetting and Childhood Friends

This feels like it's been the longest day of my life. Like the clock moves slower whenever I'm not with her.

I left Mkhulu and Alex awhile ago, leaving them to reminisce without having to explain everything to me.

Mkhulu needed this. I didn't want to be the one to keep him from his happiness. Alex told me that I could get fresh air on the terrace.

I step into the open space terrace with ceramic floors and a small glass table. It's a little crowded with tall vases that grow green plants. It's on the third floor of the house, the rail is white, intricately designed with patterns. I'm leaning on it, looking out at the sun that's promising to set.

I can see the slow movement of the clouds across the blue sky but only if I look closely. But none of these things matter.

None of them matter, if I'm not with her...

I've tried with everything in me, all day to keep her off my mind but everything reminded me of her.

Everything.

She's in my every thought and I wonder if she's thinking about me.

It's one thing to give up on her but it's another thing to forget.

I can't forget her. I never will. She'll forever be the unforgettable name written in my heart.

But it's over and I have to remind myself of that. I have to push this knowledge straight to my heart and that's what I've been doing all day long.

I don't want to think of her...

All of who she is, a wonderful soul with a simple beauty that leaves me in awe every single time.

I don't want to think of her eyes, that always meet mine like it's the only thing she'd spend her life gazing at.

Her smile that I'd do anything just to see, even look like a fool.

Those freckles that I've wished to trace with my fingers once she got comfortable with my touch.

I don't want to think about the words we shared with each other that felt very sacred at that moment. I don't want to think about the kiss...

I don't want to think about her.

Before my thoughts can get more overwhelming, my phone in my pocket pings with a text. Pulling out my phone, I see it's a message from Dominique.

Dominique
I've got something to handle today so I won't be able to talk but we'll definitely discuss this whole Olivia thing tomorrow. I'll have a talk with Wyatt too.

Me
Don't worry about Olivia. I'm done with that. Everything is fine.

Dominique
What do you mean???

Me
I'll explain later, just do what you need to do today. I'm fine.

I turn off my phone before Dominique can interrogate me any further on the topic. I used to be in a hurry for these thirty six days to be over so that Olivia would finally be mine but now...

Now I'm in a hurry for it to end. For the days to pass by and for the year to end so that I can put Olivia behind me.

So that it won't be a struggle suppressing my heart from all these feelings because she'll finally be gone.

It's clear that she's pushing me away because she made her decision. Olivia made her decision before the end of the thirty six days and I have made mine as well.

I give up.

I'm so lost in my head that it takes me a while to hear the sound of soft sobbing. It's faint at first but it slowly gets louder.