36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!

Chapter 61: American Boy and Hint

3rd December 2023🥀

Today is  the first Saturday,  with the relief of knowing that next week isn't school. It's one of those long Saturdays, where the warm sun stretches through the hours of the day, promising to set later.

I've spent the day with Mkhulu doing absolutely nothing. A dream!

There isn't much conversation, we simply bask in the safety of each other's presence. My mind is overwhelmed with the gushing, bursting thoughts of the future. My future.

My life has finally begun and everything from this moment forward is the building blocks to the man I want to be, the future I want to have.

Everything.

❄️❄️❄️

After a long afternoon nap, I wake up to the setting sun. The orange sun dips into the horizon, its rays spread into a line. The sky tints a shade darker, a star appears, promising night.

The blue curtains are drawn open, my room catching the last rays of the day. For a moment I  stay on my bed, eyes not  focused anywhere, getting used to my surroundings again after the knockout sleep I had.

The future, while exciting and beautiful is slightly overwhelming, building up a new pressure in my heart.

“I'll take it one day at a time,” I tell myself, breathing but the pressure won't relent.

I don't have to search within myself to know why. As the sun sets, the warm rays fading into something colder, all that goes through my mind is her.

There was nothing sad about this day, nothing that brought me to tears, or made me frown. Nothing hurt but as the sun sets, the day fading into a memory, I face the fact that it was another day without her.

And that hurts.

Seven days. It's been seven days since our last question. The person I saw everyday has quickly gone and become someone I might never see again.

“I thought she was my forever,” I whisper, talking to God, to myself.

And now, the sun has set, not a ray left. I shut my eyes, expecting the flow of tears but it remains dry.

Now, I'm left with the task of blurring, cutting and erasing Olivia  from my future. She made sense, so much so that  I subconsciously added her into every hope and dream I had for myself.

She was woven into my future, like she belonged there.

The picture of my future has always been in the back of my mind. Constantly changing, expanding,  and developing more intricacies. It was earlier this year when Olivia showed up into my life, and suddenly she fit into the picture, being placed in a space like she belonged there.

Now, the picture feels and looks incomplete without her.

Every dream, hope and milestone, I foolishly added her into is a picture that's without…

A chill  runs through me, the air colder than before.

Opening my eyes, I shun out the depressing thoughts, looking over my dark room. The windows are open, a breeze blowing in. I get up, pushing the blankets away. I shut the windows, closing the curtains only after getting a good look at the sky.

It's different in its dark hue, the stars glimmering, bringing the night to life. The moon hangs in the middle, a luminescent glow, not as bright as the sun but still beautiful.

Hope.

The door creaks open and the light from the hallway spreads reflecting in my room. Mkhulu peeks his head in, a  look of concern passing over his face. It's quiet  until he shakes off the worry. “It's movie night.”  He says, reminding me.