28 November 2023 🥀
"-The fear of abandonment." The article illuminates from the laptop I'm using, contrasting greatly from the dark in my room.
I'm still in my pajamas, sitting by my black desk and I've been scrolling through articles, watching countless YouTube videos all on the looming topic of...
The fear of abandonment
"-is the overwhelming fear that the people you love will leave you physically and/or emotionally."
There that word was again.
Left...
According to the videos I watched and the articles I read, if not cured the fear of abandonment would affect all my relationships.
It was like a looming dark cloud that only you could see and it reminded the inner you about the possibility of the person you love leaving.
People come into your life in one way but leave in a number of ways;almost like your life has a thousand exit doors surrounding you, making it easy for people to leave.
Leave in death.
Leave in breakups.
Leave in distance.
Leave...
I'd just got acquainted with the whole thing but it was clear that it ruled my life. It reigned King and I didn't even know I was hailing it.
I wasn't the type to ever have shaky knees at the possibility of a girl breaking up with me or even care that much if someone decided to stop being my friend.
This fear obviously wasn't as clear as day because no one could catch me dead, biting my teeth and hoping someone stayed.
Instead it was more lethal and quiet like the night, comforting me in how much I was used to it all.
A tired breath tumbles out of my lips and I look away from the laptop. I can't help but notice how the morning light fights its way into the heavy blue curtains of my room but loses against the overwhelming darkness.
I stare at the small light, reflecting on the floor, beckoning for more. Wanting to illuminate, to reveal more of the morning's beauty.
Why don't you have more friends?
The thought comes out of nowhere, unfamiliar like I've been hit by a rock in the head. The thought echoes.
It echoes so much I have to ponder, not think, I have to ponder on it.
It's not like I don't have friends besides Dominique but they're all just the guys. They are nice for a good hang but we all keep our distance.
It's natural, we all keep our distance.
Why were you so comfortable with loving Olivia from afar in the beginning?
Another rock, straight to the head and this time I don't like it. I sigh, wanting to get ready for school but not even having the strength to lift myself off the chair.
Was I really comfortable?
The wind whirls in a little more, making more of the light tease into the room but the heavy curtains push back shunning the light.
"I should get ready for school." I pick myself up, stretching until I hear the satisfying crunch of my stiff bones.
What really stopped you from approaching Olivia in the beginning of the year?
YOU ARE READING
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
