18 November 2023🥀
“It's like she was never here, right?”
I'm standing by the hallway, where a few days ago I used to hear Mkhulu and mama talking.
Today I hear nothing.
Mkhulu looks up from his coffee ,by the kitchen counter, his eye bags extenuating his dark eyes.
“Right.” he answers,clipped.
The silence settles over us.
This morning leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's bitter and it's miserable and it's cold. The rainy season has fully begun and I can't help but feel relieved that the sun isn't taunting me this morning with it's rays that would feel more like glares.
It's like she came to shatter my world for the fun of it and has left Mkhulu and I to pick up the pieces.
Looking at his tired eyes,his dropped from and pain etched on his face like wrinkles I realize that this is it.
This is us, picking up the pieces.
“You should have breakfast.”
I nod, taking steps towards the kitchen and pulling open the fridge. For a moment my mind goes blank, the fridge door is open and I forget what I'm looking for.
It takes a second before I pull out the milk. Mkhulu has already placed the bowl filled to the brim with cornflakes.
I take a seat on the stool across from him, pouring the milk.
The splitting headache I had since the morning strains my mind for a moment, making some of the milk spill.
“Sorry.” My eyes dart to Mkhulu, anxious.
“It's fine... Are you okay?” Concern flashes over Mkhulu’s face.
“...I”
“—Don’t answer that question. It's stupid. Of course you're not okay.”
I start eating and Mkhulu takes that as his cue to shut up. Although he hates the gwonch gwonch sounds my mouth makes as I chew the cornflakes, he stays.
Even after crying myself to sleep last night,the pain in my heart wells up into tears. I blink them back, focusing on eating and only that.
Mkhulu sighs deeply.
The silence that stretches on between us is utterly painful.
Why?
Because there is no silence shared between Mkhulu and I. We're always talking, arguing, laughing and debating with each other but today…
Every unspoken word swims in the depths of our eyes getting caught up in our throats.
It hurts my heart immensely that I don't even remember the last time the two of us shared a laugh recently. I don't remember the last time we bantered about the old generation and the new one.
I don't remember the last time he threatened to hit me with his cane until I passed out even though we both knew he wasn't laying a finger on me.
I don't —
“We can't let her ruin this too.” Mkhulu cuts into my thoughts, his dark eyes meeting mine.
The pain in his eyes is so clear it makes my heart bleed.
“What happened to us?” Mkhulu continues, searching my dead eyes.
“Life happened.” I find myself muttering.
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