THIRTY SIX

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Alex Karev had a beanie chucked at his head while, knocking the french fry that was about to enter him mouth out of his fingertips and onto the cold tile floor of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital's cafeteria.

"Dude!" he looked up defensively, as if Blair Macaspac just did the worst thing anyone could do to the surgeon. Then, he picks up the beanie that fell into his lap, his frown turning upwards into a small smile, and he—happily this time—, said, "Aww, dude!"

Blair sat down across from him, taking one of his french fries from his tray and plopping it into her own mouth as Alex put the beanie on, a ridiculously child-like smile beaming on his face now.

"When did you have time for this?" Alex asked, tugging it over his ears. "I asked for this, like, last night... I think... my brain's all screw-y, I'm doing a clinical trial with Shepherd."

She pulled her tote bag onto her lap, pulling out a small bundle of yarn and a crocheting needle. "Crocheted during therapy," she said with a shrug, snagging another french fry.

Alex pushed his tray in between the two of them so she didn't have to keep reaching over.

"How was the shrink?" he questioned, eying her with a nonchalant glint of concern in his eyes.

"I live in a world where I only exist because I'm in love with an idiot," Blair thought to herself, which was basically what she was able to deduce from her first therapy session with Dr. Wyatt, though she was likely internalizing it wrong.

It wasn't that Dr. Wyatt said she only existed because she loved Jackson, but more so Dr. Wyatt professionally and maybe rather un-politely pointed out to Blair that she built a career and a life in Seattle not actually based on the location of the city but who she loved who lived there. Not that Blair needed an actual psychiatrist to tell her that, she knew that part already. An English professor could tell her that, an English professor has told her that.

But hearing someone who specializes and went to school to professionally psychoanalyze people say it as well wasn't helping Blair's denial of the events.

Okay, so she chose Seattle because Jackson lived there? So, what? Sue her. No one in Boston ever loved someone so much that they'd do anything to just be near them, that they loved them so much that a friendship was enough? Well, that's just tragic, then. Find someone and love them, jeez.

"The shrink is screwing with my brain," Blair decided to settle on as an answer to Alex's question.

Before Alex could ask what that meant, his pager went off. He pulled it out of his pocket, muttering, "Crap, it's Shepherd," and pushing his tray all the way to Blair. As he got up and started to walk off, his planted a quick kiss to Blair's forehead as if it was natural to do so, mumbling a, "Gotta go," and leaving her startled and confused.

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