𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝟏𝟖+

8. drown

POPPY ELLISON

✥

I feel practically empty when I get home.

Numb. So incredibly numb.

How could I sell information about Alexia and Gabriel to Rexx? When they've shown me nothing but kindness. They're the good in this world and now I'm being forced to stab them in the back. The thought churns every last drop of alcohol in my stomach.

If any of them get hurt or put into trouble because of me... I know Lonzo would kill me. Point blank. Anything that involves Alexia, he'll be there to protect her. From me. Yet, if I don't do as Rexx says, he'll torture me in ways that will break me into nothing.

I can't win in this situation. I physically cannot win.

As I walk through the front door at two o'clock in the morning, my eyes sting as if I've been crying for hours but I didn't once shed a tear. Like I said, I'm numb. I barely scrub off my makeup and climb into bed, pulling the covers up and over my head as if somehow they'll protect me.

My eyes flutter shut but they hurt so badly. I twist and I turn, tugging and yanking on my hair until I let out a frustrated cry.

The closer I get to them, the closer Gabriel will see me under his magnifying glass.

He's already suspicious as it is. If I spend more time with him, it won't take long for him to pluck every piece of me apart. I can already tell by his eyes that I'm under his suspicious radar.

When morning rolls around, I can barely get myself out of bed because I've had less than two hours sleep. My mind has been working in overdrive and now I have a headache behind my eyes that makes me wince.

Rexx will be expecting me to meet him for breakfast so I can debrief on my night. Although there isn't much to say and I'm far too tired to make up bullshit lies. I'm sick of it.

I glance at the clock beside my bed and whimper when I see it approaching ten o'clock. If I'm not out soon, he'll drag me by my hair. With the headache I have festering in my brain, it's everything I don't need right now.

After a few moments I shower and get dressed before taking a slow breath and heading into the kitchen. Rexx is sitting at the kitchen counter, his eyes colliding with mine and a face like a slapped ass. "There you are," he says coldly. "I was starting to think you were avoiding me on purpose."

My head shakes. "No, I just slept in. Sorry."

His dark green eyes flick across my face, trying to read any sign of a lie. But technically I'm not lying. I did sleep in because I couldn't sleep all night.

"Food will be cold," he grumbles and flexes an eyebrow.

"I'll eat it cold."

I'm aware that his eyes follow me as I walk towards the counter and perch on the opposite end of him. I lean over and grip onto a stale croissant, I have no intentions of eating it but I pick at it so Rexx doesn't suspect that I'm stalling.

I place a small piece of the buttery pastry in my mouth and chew, even though everything tastes like cement right now.

"So anything you'd like to tell me about last night?"

As I attempt to swallow the food in my mouth I glance at Rexx and sigh. "Not a lot," I say quietly. "They're reserved people."

Rexx's eyes flash with frustration. "No?" He tilts his head and I hate that tone. "Because Tristan said it looked like you were having a blast with... was it, Lonzo's girlfriend?"