You Were Always Mine

22: Aftermath

Jasmine

You know the heavy weight you feel after you have spent hours upon hours crying until you eventually fall asleep, and usually when you wake up, you feel refreshed and better because you had let it all out? Well, I do not feel refreshed, and I most certainly do not feel better. I actually can not remember a time when I felt more anxious or uncertain. For a moment, everything felt like magic. But within an instant, it all came crumbling down at my feet. And there is no amount of crying I can do that will change it.

I barely slept last night. The rest of the time at my party went by in a blur until it was just me, sitting alone in my living room amongst the leftover ruin of my house guests. The cleaning company disturbed the few hours of sleep that I did get by knocking on my door at six this morning. For a moment, I was grateful for the distraction of making sure my house got back to its usual sparkly clean state. But the cleaners have long left now, and I am still procrastinating about going to pick up Carter. Even though I know in my heart that I did nothing wrong, it is still hard for me to face him after the pain I had seen on his face and knowing that I am the cause of it.

I am still trying to figure out how Angel got into my house without me even noticing. And I know Bianca and Kelly would have noticed him for sure. But what I am overthinking about the most is how he even found out about me and Carter. Only three people knew, and I know Carter nor Kelly would ever tell him. Someone has to be messing with me because first, that video of Carter and I gets sent around school, second, strangers got invitations to my party, and third, Angel, knowing about my plan. Those can not all be just coincidences.

"Good morning, Miss Davis." I jump at the sound of my house keepers voice.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She looks at me with worry.

"I am fine, Jane." I give her a small smile. "You just scared me a little because I was in my thoughts."

She begins to unpack some groceries and put them into the fridge. "Is everything alright with you, Miss Davis?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" I shrug, bottling up my emotions as best as I can.

"I only ask because you are in here in your thoughts, and your friend is outside in his thoughts, so I-"

"Friend?" I interrupt her. "What friend?"

Her eyebrows knit together. "The one with the red hair. Carter is his-"

I sprint out of the kitchen, not letting her finish. I hesitate at the front door, knowing Carter waits on the other side of it. I take a deep breath and open it. He sits on my steps.

"Hey..." I say quietly.

He jumps clearly startled. I guess that makes two of us now.

"Hey." He replies. I hesitantly look at him. His eyes have dark circles beneath them, and his cheeks are blotchy like he had previously been crying.

"Um, Jane said you were out here." I close the door behind me and step outside completely.

"I knew you would be overthinking whether you should come pick me up or not."

I half smile at the fact that he knew that.

"I hate that you know me so well sometimes." I laugh lightly.

"Do you?" He tilts his head at me.

"No," I shake my head while smiling. "It's nice having someone know you deeply like that, you know?"

He nods and then looks down at the ground. I hate this awkwardness between us. I wish I could just rush to him and pull him into a kiss. But I am afraid he may not kiss me back.