our time - lestappen

tensions

British GP

Charles Leclerc

I'm pretty sure I've been in a trance since Sunday.

I feel disoriented and sick to my stomach. I suppose heartbreak does that to a person.

Media day today was hell, utter hell. I could barely piece together responses to the insane number of questions I was asked throughout the day. At least Carlos and I got to spend some time together because Ferrari had us do one of those fun little games that they post on Youtube. After we finished filming, he could tell something was off and I told him everything that had gone down between Max and I in Austria. I don't think I've ever seen him more shocked in my life.

I still don't think I fully understand what even happened. I lied to him because I had to, but he and I never had an issue as boyfriends so I think he completely overreacted. He's not dumb, if he's so sure that I lied to him then he should know why rather than be so stubborn and refuse to work with me especially granted the situation that I'm in. 

Max fucking Verstappen, ladies and gentlemen. I love him but at this point I hate that I love him as I don't know how I will trust him again after he was so quick to leave me.

As I get out of the shower I see I have 4 missed calls from Lando and one text.

Lando:
Can you call me? It's urgent.

I immediately return the call.

"Hey Lando, are you ok what's going on?"

"Are you at the paddock still? It's quite late so I assume you're not but..."

"No, I got back an hour ago, why?"

"Because Carlos and I were supposed to spend tonight together, but he cancels on me last second for a 'team meeting' but if it was really a team meeting then you would be there too, no?"

"Lando I'm sorry but he is lying. Fred and I shared a ride to the hotel, there's no team meeting."

"What the fuck? Okay then. And by the way, sorry to hear things fell out with Max, you guys were cute together."

"It's okay, maybe we weren't meant to be together," I say, repeating the words from the last kiss Max and I shared."

"Well if there's ever something I can do to help you, I'm here. I might seem like an immature kid in public, but I can be serious when I need to be so please if you need anything I'm here."

"Thank you and likewise, I can text Carlos asking where he is too."

We end the call and I can't help but feel weird about the whole situation. Max leaving me and now Carlos and Lando having issues within a week of each other? There's no real correlation, but its strange.

I text Carlos and check to see if he's posted anything regarding his location, but there's nothing. It then hits me that Lando mentioned his strange behavior a while ago, but when I think about it I actually haven't noticed a change in him.

That is, until now.

I send Carlos another text because this isn't fair to Lando.

Charles:
Carlos, man, I don't care if you don't tell me where you are but stop lying to your boyfriend. He's pretty upset, he called me.

With that, I decide not to think about it the rest of the night.

~

Max Verstappen

I know I shouldn't be drinking, but I need some kind of a release right now.

Christian will let me skip the first practice if I want and honestly I have absolutely no motivation to drive. It's hard to find motivation when the one thing that was going right started to go wrong so quickly.