our time - lestappen

surprise

Singapore GP

Charles Leclerc

He's not moving.

Max is unconscious in the car. I'm shaking him, desperately trying to get him to wake up, but it's like talking to a corpse. He sits still, eyes gently shut, mouth parted.

"Max, sweetheart, please," I say. "You need to wake up, please."

The marshals are so far away. He's barely breathing, he's not going to survive and it'll be my fault for crashing into him.

I feel the tears start to fall, I can't control it. They're getting closer, the emergency crew, but not fast enough.

Even airlifting him to a hospital isn't enough. I'm out of the paddock in minutes and race to the hospital to find him hooked up to machines, fighting for his life. But everyone knows it's a lost cause.

A beep rings out, signaling his heartbeat has stopped. The nurses do everything they can, but it all fails.

He's gone. I knew it the second I found him in the car, barely showing signs of life.

"Time of death, 17:54," the doctor solemnly tells me. My tears fall on his lifeless body, hand holding his even though I know he can't take any comfort from it anymore.

"I'm so sorry, I will always love you," I whisper. I'm now alone in the hospital room with him and it's killing me, the spirit and soul depleted from his body.

The newest headlines: "Max Verstappen Dead in Freak Accident with Boyfriend Charles Leclerc"

Max. Dead. My fault. It's all too much. It's so much that I feel my legs give out. I'm collapsing physically and mentally. The world starts to spin and then-

I feel something aggressively tapping me. My eyes fly open and I'm in a Singapore hotel room, Max curled up against me. Max, fully alive and well but incredibly worried.

"Charlie, you're shaking and crying, it's okay, it's just a dream, I'm here and you're safe." Max breaks one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I can't stop shaking and I can barely breathe.

"Fuck, that was a bad one," I choke out.

"Shh, it's okay, just breathe with me."

I gasp in air, trying to do as he tells me. But it's so hard, I'm still shaking and shivering. He holds me tighter than he already was, wrapping the blanket around us.

"You want to talk about it?" Max murmurs.

I violently shake my head. No way do I want to relive that. I don't know what I would do if it happened in real life. I truly don't know, I can't afford to lose Max. Not after everything we've been through, not now that he's the most important person in my life.

"You're doing so good for me baby, it's okay."

"I- I'm sorry for waking you," I say through choked out sobs.

"Hey, none of that, you know full well you'd do the same if the roles were reversed."

He's got a point there. But I can't not feel bad. He gently strokes my hair and holds me close to him and doesn't let go of me until I find myself dozing off again.

I wake up a few hours later still incredibly shaken up and disoriented. And to make things worse, Max is nowhere to be seen.

Just as I grab my phone and start speed dialing his number, he walks back in with two coffees and something that smells heavenly.