our time - lestappen

pinpoint

Mexican GP

Max Verstappen

Two weeks.

Two long weeks since I've gotten to hold him, kiss, him, since I've really been his.

It hurts like all hell. I've been so out of it. Yes we've been speaking in secret every night but it's too hard to do so during the day and not being able to say how I feel about him is just gut wrenching. Especially after all we've been through together, all the times we've had each other's back just taken away from us. There's also the fear that somehow we get caught and it was made very clear to us that we would be permanently out of Formula 1 if that was to happen. While I don't think anyone is going to do a deep dive search on a guest account on Discord, there's a knot in my stomach when the stakes are that high. And also the endless judgement and criticism we would face, it would just be hell.

My legal team has been working tirelessly to get us out of this situation but what they're doing to uncover this information is on the borderline between legal and illegal. At least we're in Mexico this week, so hopefully the attention towards our team is directed at Checo and not at me. One race with some peace of mind would be really nice, to be completely honest.

It's tough though. Seeing Charles, so breathtakingly beautiful, only a few meters caught up in conversation with Carlos, his eyes crinkling up a bit when Carlos says something to make him laugh. At least he's smiling, that makes this situation infinitely better knowing that he's also got people who know how to keep him in a good place.

I hear voices in the background but that's exactly what it is, the background. My eyes haven't left a certain Monegasque with whom I am very much in love. If nothing else, being separated from him has proven to me that he is my person and I can't imagine being with anyone else.

I'll make it official soon. Call it fast, but he is mine. The night he kissed me for the first time he told me that he would never let me go and I'm not going to let go of him either.

"Max? Earth to Max Verstappen?" Checo says behind me as he jostles my shoulders a bit.

"Wait, wha- what is it?" I reply, startled.

"I've been saying your name for the last 30 seconds but you've been caught up in your own world staring at your man. We need to go, we're supposed to be on the fan stage."

"Oh okay, let's go then," I say and I can tell he knows that I'm mentally out of it and not just because Charles happened to be in my line of vision.

The crowd roars as we step out on stage, it's deafening. I know it's mostly for Checo but oh my God, it's just a lot.

We take our seats and talk with the host, they have us play this one mini game against each other and I let Checo take the win in front of his home crowd, I'll get revenge on track.
And then, they open the floor to fan questions.

A lot of them are in Spanish for Checo, who answers and translates for the rest of us. Then the microphone gets handed to this one girl. She looks to be about 18, and even from afar I can see the sparkle in her eyes. I know she's about to ask something good.

"Max I have a question for you," she starts. I look up and smile at her, just from the outside she reminds me of Charles a bit. "We all know of the situation that you and Charles are in right now, how you can't communicate for the moment if you want to race On behalf of us fans, we admire your decision to sacrifice now and then be happy together when you guys are proven innocent. So right now, what's something you want him to know? He'll definitely hear it."

See? I knew it. She was onto something good.

"I- I mean it might seem cliche but just that I love him more than words can explain and to keep believing that we will get out the other side of this since you can't prove someone guilty if they haven't done anything wrong," I reply, but God those words were so much harder to say out loud than they were to think of. The entire crowd cheers and even the host and Checo are smiling. It's a nice moment amidst all the chaos.