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"Neca ne neceris" 

- kill lest you be killed

☾ ☾ ☾ 

The crew had been careful about it. 

Not talked about the fateful separation for as long as they could, but the minute it escaped the ravenets lips there was no taking it back. The chatter and movement seemed to have died down at his sentence, the wary creep of San's footsteps joining the two as Aeris stepped backwards at the harshness of his words. 

"I- but-" she was stumbling over her words, eyes frantic while she tried to calm the barrage of colliding thoughts. 

The decision she had taken weeks ago now seeming so stupid in her own eyes, the harsh words she had uttered breaking apart as she realised one simple thing. 

She didn't want to leave.

"But what?" Seonghwa crossed his arms, looking down at her and letting go of the rope he had been holding. 

"Seonghwa-" Hongjoong had made his way down by that time, a tone of warning in his voice as he realised the girl was panicking slightly. "We will talk about this later"

"There is no later" the boy scoffed.

There was no later, Aeris realised that now. There was no later and there never would be unless she told them exactly what she wanted. Her heart beat fast, the shakiness of her hands now transferring to her voice as finally she realised what she should have realised weeks ago. 

"No- let's talk about it now" 

"Aeris there really is no pressure," Yeosang put a hand on her shoulder, voice gentle while San nodded vigorously in the back. 

But it was Jongho who caught her attention. He stood next to the captain, a confused expression on his face as he looked at her and when she caught his eye- understanding rose at the desperation he saw, and slowly he smiled. 

I have to tell them. 

Then do it fast. Jongho tilted his head in return. 

"I-" Aeris looked around, she had never been this nervous, she didn't know if she had to be this nervous in the first place. The crew she had travelled with for the past months stood impatient yet curious. 

"I- u- want to stay. I mean, if you will have me."

Silence followed her statement, the squawk of seagulls ever so prominent above her heads as she shifted her weight nervously, toying with the edge of her shirt as she looked for their reactions that seemed to be etched into stone.

"I knew it!" San suddenly crowed, startling the group out of their reverie as he suddenly leapt at the astounded girl, hands around her neck while Yunho followed suit.  

"We grew on her" Wooyoung wept, tears shining in his eyes yet she suspected they were fake. Mingi was next, throwing his hands around her with such force that the whole group stumbled backwards- causing Yunho to smack the emotional boy who whacked the assassin much harder in return. 

The first person she looked at was Hongjoong.

It surprised even her, eyes moving to his face as her words finally seemed to sink in to his mind- restless glances turning into an expression of poor shock which masked itself behind an artful grin while the rest of the crew jumped at the decision. His eyes sparkled in pleasure, the chains around his neck twinkling in the starry light. 

'Would you have missed me, silver?'

'In your dreams'  she mouthed back.

And all he did in return was wink.

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