On Set

9

I didn't know what I expected. I stood in front of his hotel room, with messed up hair and makeup. I didn't know why I thought I could knock on it. I didn't know why I thought he would even let me stay the night. I didn't know why I even let myself think he might care for me as much as I do him. I don't know what I'm doing.

But there I was. My stomach plummeting as every second went by that went by.

I stood there at his door walking back and forth. It was ridiculous. I was his friend, why wouldn't I be allowed to stay the night? How am I going to explain why I was there? Oh yeah, I missed you so much Chris, so you know jumped on an early flight. Couldn't wait a day to see you again? No.

There's something so exciting and almost magical about having a crush. Oh god, calling Chris my crush sounded like I was back in middle school. He was a distraction I needed. Sometimes you just need an imaginary figure to take you away because you know you can't do it yourself.

But having feelings, even fake ones, for someone who doesn't really exist, someone who you've made up hurts. What if my beautiful version of Chris wasn't really him? Can he ever amount to my daydreams?

And daydreaming about someone who will never daydream about you is endlessly frustrating. But it's so addicting. I can't quit. You keep thinking, dreaming, hoping that maybe this time, this day, now, tomorrow, they'll love you back. But they don't, and it's okay because all you needed was a daydream to sweep you off your feet not a person.

I knocked on the door, and almost ran. I looked around the hallway I had already memorized by pacing up and down it.

"Lucy?" Chris said opening the door and I finally meet his eyes. He looked a little confused but still smiled at me. His blue eyes were the only things I saw and I wanted to melt.

"What? I thought you were coming tomorrow? What are you doing here?!" He sounded happy and surprised, but he's an actor.

"I...umm....missed my set...Worried it wasn't in good hands." I falsely admitted to him and he chuckles a bit. I wondered if he saw through my pathetic act.

"Umm, Chris I need a huge favor. Do you think I could stay the night? Since I came early my hotel room isn't available. I'm sorry to do this, I mean I can go—"

"Yeah Lucy you can stay it isn't a big deal." He interrupted stopping my embarrassing ramble. I followed him inside his hotel room set my suitcase somewhere out of the way. I sat on his couch and sighed rather loudly. I rubbed my eyes making my make up worse, and I felt the couch dip a little.

"How'd it go today?"

"Fine, fine. They never gave me an answer. Told me they'll get back to me. Which is the absolute worse, and now I'm having even more anxiety." I confessed to him.

"I'm sorry Luce. I know how much you worked to get the deal. It still might happen."

"Hopefully. But I don't know Chris. It seems like I wasted my time." I got up from the couch and grabbed some stuff from my suitcase.

"I'm going to change into something a little more comfortable." I told Chris and he nodded. I changed into a sweatshirt and leggings. I washed my face and took a deep breath. I didn't realize how tired I was until now.

I left the bathroom and returned to the couch.

"What time is it?" I asked Chris

"Six"

"What?" It seemed like it was midnight. My internal clock was all messed up. In Boston it was almost 10 at night.

"You want a job?" I challenged Chris.