February 24, 1998
Today Zach was flirting with me so bad! It was so cute. But in gym, he didn’t really talk to me at all, except to inform me, “Matt did it, he said so.” I wasn’t really that surprised that Matt had started the rumors. They don’t really bother me.
But they certainly bother Zach. He called me today to tell me: “I don’t know what to do.” “About what?” “Everything.” I was like, “Oh…kay.” [I think I would have the same reaction today.]
He continued, “Amanda is so pissed off.” “Why does she care?!” “I don’t know.” “Because she likes you, that’s why.”
He said, “She’s always making fun of you.” “Why? I don’t even know her!”
He said, “You have to confront her.” “What good will that do? None.” “Well, if you don’t… you know. I’m just gonna have to listen to her. I can only take like, a week more of her bashing you.”
So if I don’t confront Amanda, he’s going to dump me. I hate it when he does this!!!
I said, “The only reason she bashes me is because she likes you!”
He said, “Okay. There are two possibilities why she hates you. One, she’s a bitch. Or two, your theory… that… she likes me.” I said, “Yeah, either way, I’m right.”
He sighed, “You know the last two times?” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “Oh, my god, I can’t believe you could forget, Emily. The last two times… I dumped you.”
“Oh, yeah. The last two out of five times.” [Snap!] That comment was a little too sarcastic and he called me a bitch. I didn’t defend myself. I never do.
Then he said, “Well, those times were because of her.” Right then, I wanted to pound in Amanda Collins’s head. I always want to, but this time the temptation was stronger. Zach and I are soul mates, and Amanda is ruining everything.
I think I will confront her, only nicely. [Right. Kill ’em with kindess.] If she likes me, even though I could NEVER like her, then maybe Zach won’t dump me. I love him so much! Why does Amanda have to get in the way of everything?
Zach still loves me, though, I can tell. Even if he does dump me, we’re stil meant to be together. Seriously. [Seriously?]
ESTÁ A LER
The UnSlut Project
Não ficçãoI was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a...
