The UnSlut Project

A dramatic change

June 22, 1999

Today was the second to last day of school! About a week ago, I received confirmation of my importance in Zach's life. We are both taking Health class this semester, but we aren't in the same class. One of the assignments was to write a paragraph about any relationship in our life that has gone through a change. We had to write why that change happened, how we felt about it, etc. Of course, I wrote about Zach.

Just out of curiosity, I asked Ms. Dietrich, "Who did Zach write about?" She raised an eyebrow. "Actually, he wrote about YOU." I asked, "Can I read it?" "Well, he needs to give you permission," she said. "He wouldn't mind," I assured her. [Okay, sounds legit.]

She said okay, and she took me upstairs to her office and sifted through a stack of papers until she found it. I grabbed it from her and ran to the bathroom so I could read it in private.

I had a flashback to two years ago, when Zach wrote me that nice note that is pasted into one of my old diaries. I love this one nearly as much:

"I've had an interesting relationship for the past two years. It started out as an off-and-on relationship. Then there was a gigantic fight that ended the relationship for a long time. The fight wasn't truly anger, though. The fight lasted for a while. Then most recently, a dramatic change. We sat at the same math table together. And we both forgot that we were angry at each other. It became like the relationship never ended. This is a great change because it brought back a past relationship. I am still benefiting from this change. I am extremely glad that this change took place because I don't know what I'd do if it didn't."

[This insight into Zach's perspective is really telling: what I had experienced as horrible, life-threatening bullying, he saw as merely "a fight." It demonstrates how much we can mistakenly assume about someone's motivation.]