The Fear Of Falling Apart // Dan Howell

Chapter 1

A/N WELCOME BACK FELLOW READERS OF 'If We Just Lay Here' - back for more? Thought you might be! I was overwhelmed with the responses about wanting a sequel so as a huge thank you, this is 'The Fear Of Falling Apart' ...

~1 Year Later~

"Morning (y/n)!" Margaret says with a warm smile.

"Good morning" You reply.

"Here is your post!" She says, handing you a wad of letters, "Breakfast is on the table for when you want it."

"Thank you Margaret" You respond, taking the letters from her hands.

She walks out of your room, closing the door behind her and you walk over to your bed and sit down. You begin shuffling through the letters when you see one stamped specially with BBC. You eagerly rip open the letter to discover that it's a response to a job application that you sent in.

Your Mum passed away a few months ago and you have been struggling to find a job for a while now. In fact, trying to get used to living in Scotland proved to be quite difficult for you so you decided to apply for many different jobs and you'd decide from there where you would go and live your life. You never though the BBC would actually reply to you though.

You take a deep breath and look back to the paper. Your eyes scan the words, carefully taking in and processing the information.

You got the job!

You can't believe it. You have actually been accepted to be a crew member of the BBC! Excitedly, you jump up from your bed and run out of your room and the hall.

"Margaret!" You yell, running down the creaky wooden stairs.

"Yes?" Margaret replies, walking out of the kitchen.

"I got a job! The BBC accepted me!" You announce, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Really? Oh (y/n) that's amazing!" Margaret grins, "Which branch is it?"

You furrow your eyebrows. Branch? What does she mean by that? You look back down at the paper and read that you will be working with the 'London Branch'.

Shoot.

London. Of all places you could have gone to, you have to go to London: the place you swore to never return to. Now you have a big decision to make; you can just find another job or you accept your fate and move back to London, to work for the BBC. After all, you don't necessarily have to live in the same area of London that you used to! But then again, there are other complications too. For example, you'll have to leave Margaret behind and how will you tell your boyfriend?

Yes, boyfriend.

You spend most of your time in Scotland in coffee shops and one day, you saw a tall, blonde boy with shocking blue eyes staring at you. You decided to ignore him but the next day you noticed him looking over your way again. You couldn't drink your coffee knowing someone was staring at you so you sassily got up from your seat and marched over to him.

Instead of loosing your cool, you got talking and he turned out to actually be quite sweet and charming. By the end of your conversation, you and Luke had decided to meet up regularly at that same coffee shop. You would laugh at his accent and discuss future plans - you felt so comfortable talking to him. The only thing you still have yet to tell him is about Dan. You told him that you had a hard time with a boy once but you only gave him the minor details. Besides, you figured that you should get over Dan and give another boy a chance.

You have been with Luke for 6 months now and although you tell people that you're in love with him, you sometimes doubt yourself because he seems to break promises often - seems to be a common thing with boys! You don't let it get to you though because you have started a fresh new life and if your future is London with Luke, then you aren't complaining.

You just have to tell him first!

"Someone sounds excited!" Luke chuckles, walking over to you and putting his arm around your waist.

"I'll let you tell him" Margaret winks, walking back into the kitchen as she ties her apron up.

You look up into Luke's blue eyes and smile.

"What has gotten you this excited then?" He asks.

"I got a job babe!" You tell him.

"No way! I am so proud of you!" He exclaims, wrapping his arms around you.

You pull back and look back into his eyes.

"Luke..." You begin, "It's not in Scotland though."

Luke's face slowly drops. Damn. That wasn't smooth at all!

"Oh" He says, "Where is it then?"

There is a short moment of silence, letting you think of way to put it but there is no other way than telling him straight up.

"London" You reply, "The BBC have offered me a job there"

You look up at Luke's facial expression but you just can't read his emotions right now. That's the only odd thing about you and Luke. You can never seem to tell how either of you are feeling which is something you were able to do with Dan. That's another problem - you compare Luke to Dan too much.

"Baby, that's amazing" Luke smiles, "It's up to you if we go there"

"We?" You smile, "You would come with me?"

"Of course!"

"Oh Luke!" You exclaim, jumping into his arms.

"We can work it all out - we could even move in together! I know it's a big step but whatever works right?" He tells you.

"Right" You say into the crook of his neck.

You feel like you should be happy that Luke wants to move to London with you but for some reason, you don't feel like you want to smile. He's right about moving in together being a big step because it is. You practically did that with Dan but it didn't work out. You don't want to be hurt again but Luke wouldn't do that right? Also, what if you saw Dan in London? There is a lot more to think about before you decide to go. Do you even want Luke to come with you? As his girlfriend, you should say yes but deep down in your heart, that is being held together with a safety pin, you say no. Why?

Daniel James Howell.

A/N Oooh so there is a new boy on the scene! Do you even love him or are you just with him to help move on? Will you go to London? What if you see Dan? So many questions and it's only the first chapter! I hope you enjoy this fanfic just as much as the first and if you have any suggestions, let me know :) Thanks ~ Katie