After an awkward encounter with Dan, you silently walk back over to your desk and pull your phone back out of your pocket. You type in your passcode and see that the message says 'unable to send'. You then re-read the text you were about to send.
"Hey Luke, I haven't heard from you yet but I hope you're okay! I'm missing you so much and I can't wait to see you. Love you lots x"
Maybe there was a reason why you wasn't supposed to send that text: none of those words were true. You typed those words without meaning and seeing Dan has made you realise that. You are confusing yourself - one minute, you are dying to see Dan and the next minute, you are telling him to keep his distance. You wish you could start all over but you can't. Dan has walked back into the studio and is scrolling through his twitter, whilst you stare at the text you were going to send to your boyfriend but no longer want to.
Instead, you turn the screen off and watch message fade to black and you throw it back into your handbag. As you do, you hear the door open and you spin around to see Kim and Phil walk back in with a pile of boxes stacked in their arms. They pace over to the desk and place the boxes down.
"Thanks Phillip!" Kim says, placing her hands on her hips, "You alright (y/n)?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine!" You smile.
"Good, good!" She responds.
Dan walks back in and greets Phil as Kim begins to tear open the boxes. Suddenly Kim looks suspicious and turns to Phil.
"Phil did you not bring the box of headsets and mics?" She asks.
"I didn't see any in there" Phil says, "Last person that had the box was Dan"
Kim and Phil turn to look at Dan who looks incredibly guilty with his "it may have been me and I'm sorry" expression.
"I may or may not have left them at our apartment..." He admits.
"Was that the box that I had to help you carry home last week?" Phil asks.
"Yeah, I needed to do a couple tests on them and I completely forgot!" Dan says, face palming.
"I'll come with you and get them " Phil tells Dan, beginning to pace out of the room, "Back in a minute Ki-"
"Oh no you're not!" Kim commands, "Phil you need to help set up the cameras with me"
"But Dan can't carry that box alone!" Phil points out, throwing his arms up "It took us ages to lug that thing up the flight of stairs to our apartment!"
"Well, you can't go, as I need you here - if Dan needs help, (y/n) can go with him." Kim suggests.
You look over to Dan with a worried expression to see him also looking at you.
"It'd be a big help" Dan says, smiling.
Kim is looking at you eagerly and you know that you can't let her down on your first proper day at work. You sigh and regretfully reply with "Fine"
You get up from your seat and walk slowly over to Dan.
"Thank you (y/n)" Kim says kindly, "Now Phil come and sort these cameras out!"
Dan pulls open the door and holds it open for you to walk through. You begin walking up the hall of many doors and you look down to see Dan's hand so close to yours. Walking by his side always made you feel safe and you would hold onto his hand as tight as you could, cuddling into his side. You loved cuddling Dan - you were so in love with him. You really want to hold his hand again and lean against him like you once would have done. But you can't. You quickly pull your hands to your sides and continue to walk into the lobby.
YOU ARE READING
The Fear Of Falling Apart // Dan Howell
Fanfiction~ SEQUEL TO 'If We Just Lay Here' ~ It's time for a brand new start at life but when you find that you're working alongside the person who you swore you'd never see again, you fear that you'll just fall apart. You have both changed so much since you...
