Adonis' Mate

Epilogue

(EDITED)

After I woke up, everything was different: the pack members seemed to grow weary of me, Adonis became more overbearing about safety issues, and, sadly, Adrian became a more constant presence in our lives. My wolf rarely presents herself, but I can always feel her. I wouldn't know how to react if she disappeared from me, especially with these new and undiscovered powers.

I don't remember killing him, all I know is that I did. I remember pack members, screaming in terror. I remember his blood-curdling screams. I remember Adonis trying to pull me away from him, and that's all. That's why I refuse to get out of my bed, it's been about three weeks, and whenever I close my eyes, I see his face. I see his indigo eyes widening in horror. The absence of my wolf has made the experience even more excruciating. Maybe it's because I haven't moved in three weeks, or because I changed her true form and I don't know how to change it back, or because I'm depressed and she hates it. But it hurts.

I've grown up hearing her advice being whispered in my ear. I've been sheltered and protected by her, and now she seems to hate me. I've changed her physical form, which thanks to Adrian, I've realized is a part of my magic. I can alter my physical appearance in dangerous situations as a form of protection.

I haven't been able to change her back yet, which is why she's so angry with me. Mom comes into my bedroom to talk to me sometimes, and I freeze. I'm not sure what I would tell her. What would I say, "Hey Mom, I killed someone?... I can't say it was self-defense either." To say that I've been moping is an understatement. I've been crying for about a month. Adonis comes in and holds me when I cry. My mom tries to talk to me afterward. Sage has been getting more irritated with me-- I'm pretty sure it's because she's planning to get married soon.

I'm happy for her. I just can't move my arms or my legs. The only time I ever get out of bed is to pee and eat. Which I'm comfortable with because they both only require sitting.

Lately, Adrian has even tried talking to me. He claims that my depression is also linked to my wolf's absence but I disagree. These are my own emotions.

He's been using magic to try and get my wolf to at least talk to them. My wolf doesn't want to talk. She feels betrayed by me. Soon enough, she's going to leave me. If she doesn't go for a run or anything soon, she's going to die. I won't have her voice guiding me. I don't think I can survive this any longer. Especially, without my wolf.

Normally, the human part of the soul would try and convince the wolf to, at least, go for a run. But, I can't. I can't even convince myself that walking is worth it anymore. None of my family, besides maybe Adonis, can understand what I'm going through. Which is why I think he's been so lenient with me.

"Sarah, you need to stop it."

Although, lately he's also been kind of annoying.

"Murder is never the answer cupcake, and I know you understand that. So murdering someone should never be easy for you."

If this was supposed to be comforting, he's failing. I kind of figured this out the hard way, Adonis.

"But, angel, people see you as a hero. I see you as a hero. You were protecting your family, your mate, your pack. That doesn't make killing him in cold blood okay, it just means that you had a justified reason. It's normal to mourn the death of a man you killed, but it wasn't for me. Murder became a solid part of my life. I thought that as long as I had a justified reason, it was okay. I killed without remorse. I thought what I was doing was fine. You, you're so innocent and kind. You've got this light inside of you. It reminds me of a time when I thought killing was immoral."

I peek up from my blanket to see him looking at the wall, his fists clenched. I would listen for his heartbeat, but my wolf...

Looking at his heartbreakingly cold eyes, my head clenches and beats furiously against my chest.

"Adonis," I croak. "I'm sorry, he didn't deserve to die."

Adonis looks down at me, slowly walking towards my bed.

"No, he didn't."

He sits down next to me, and I smile. For the first time in three weeks, I smile. Of course, Adonis is the one that makes me. From the moment that I met him, I was changed forever. The moment he saw me chained he was furious he knew before I did. His strong senses and his powerful elegance bewitched me. I was chained to my father's lies and he, quite literally, broke me from them.

He brought out the worst in me: I became snappy, sarcastic, and even rude around him. He made me realize how powerful I can be. I'm a Luna. I am the definition of power in this pack. An alpha on his own is nothing, nothing, without a Luna. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have realized that the world can be unfair to good people. I wouldn't have realized that I was a bit judgmental towards a pack of people because of their leader, who I also judged terribly.

Adonis cuddles me, and for the first time in weeks, I can imagine getting out of my bed. I can imagine being my sister's bride's maid. I can imagine my sister being my bride's maid. I can imagine my mom walking me down the aisle. I can imagine screaming kids with my genes bouncing around the pack house. I can finally move. Sparks, the first sparks I've felt in weeks, because of the absence of my wolf, I feel them. I feel the mate bond twisting and turning and calling out for Adonis. My wolf is coming back to me. Adonis is coming back to me.

"Adonis, I love you so much. Thank you for being there for me."

His blue eyes bore into mine, the intensity making, goosebumps travel up my arm and shivers roll down my spine.

"Sarah, I would do anything for you. I will always be right by your side, you don't need to thank me. I love you too, angel."
~END~

Bonus chapter?