everlasting 一 pjm, kth

autumn.

your voice was soft and smooth like silk and it destroyed me.

my beating heart did summersaults and fluttered like the decorated wings of an airborne butterfly every time i heard it. the sun was in your throat and every time you opened your mouth, amber rays of shining light would reflect onto your face and to the people, and the whole room would warm as you spoke.

you had this thing about you, people loved you. you were a tall and glimmering lighthouse in the distance and i was a far away observer, hoping that one day i would reach your light and discover what was inside. when i did, my breath was taken away from my body.

on an inexplicable day you told me you loved me. how deep and true was your love? you never had the chance to tell me.

of course, there were watchers. observers, they sneered from a distance. they watched with prying eyes, scrutinizing our every move and gaze, turning their noses up in disdain. but you didn't care, so i decided i didn't either.

the first time my false facade of unfazed mess faltered was when they called you names. names i shall never utter out of my mouth and names i never wish to hear again; how ugly they sounded in my ears. they made your usually sunny and smiling face frown and you sunk into the ground where you stood like there was quicksand underneath you. i was there during the aftermath; you were crying. i laugh bitterly about it now; you were always soft. but a good soft; you were like warm sweaters on a cold autumn's day and a drink of warm coffee on a cool balcony. you wanted to pretend like nothing fazed you, but i knew their words hurt you badly – they cut you deep like a knife and shattered your fake wall of confidence.

you were okay, eventually. but then the second time came around, and you were this close to breaking again.

seeing you hurting like that shattered me. the shaking of your silk woven voice still haunts me in my sleep.