everlasting 一 pjm, kth

gaze.

we used to watch the sunset together. it filled me with bliss; it gave me a sense of security and belonging with you by my side.

now, as i watch the sunset, it only fills me up with a sense of hollow emptiness so strong that i can't help but turn away from the amber rays of sun in front of me.

it reminds me of beautiful things that went away too soon.

like you.

you left me in a blur. now, you are but a ghost that haunts me in the most beautiful and tragic way; you are everywhere. i can only fabricate your image in my mind, but that is never enough. you surround me. i am always besieged by your beauty – i wish i could see your face in front of me again.

i have grown accustomed to the numbness. you left it there. now, i no longer want to feel. because my emotions are what destroyed me.

they caused my downfall. i was too vulnerable.

you could never know how much you hurt me. if only i could fall in love with the right people, if only i could get butterflies when i look at someone and it lasts. i have a habit of doing this; i desire the unattainable. that is my achilles heel.

maybe you were always unreachable. for a second, i thought i had you, but the next moment you were slipping away, like grains of sand through my fingertips.

i wish you were still mine.