everlasting 一 pjm, kth

rouge.

i'm sorry for being angry at you. it is foolish of me to hold a grudge against someone i am longer able to see.

even when we were together, i could never stay mad at you. i would always look into your autumn eyes and i would see the butterscotch leaves rustle behind them. it was difficult, so i gave up after a while.

i think i'll always feel remorse about how we ended. it wasn't honorable, it wasn't mutual, it wasn't bittersweet; it just happened. i will never forgive them for what they did to you and to us – they are what destroyed us.

i hope you feel better about yourself now. they made you insecure; they hurt you with their words and cut you with the hate behind their sharp eyes.

you shouldn't have listened to them. you shouldn't have believed all of the lies they told you and the untruths they fed to your mind. you were naïve.

some say that an end is the start of a new beginning. but this end feels exactly like what i've always known it was; the start of nothing.

its like i've been buried by my regret, yet i'm still alive. it seems like a bad day that never ends and something i can't get out of. i can feel the never ending chaos around me and within my mind which is something i don't try to deny. i should learn to accept the fact that there are some things in my life that i can't control.

alas, i still come crawling back to the thought of you, every single time.