Matter

Chapter 15

The afternoon begins to cool as the sun falls behind the nearby mountains. After the incident in the hallway, I stayed outside and helped with the manual labor of rebuilding the wall. It feels better, and the men remain silent aside from the occasional curse from an accidental hurt. We place the tools and materials away for the night and make our way back toward the building. I'm finally feeling more useful in my demeanor.

Lucius' voice startles me before I reach the door, "Lena, we need to talk." I cringe at his words. Nothing comes good from a conversation starting in that manner. "Those people who arrived earlier thought they had nowhere to go. I spoke to them for a while and one of them told me when they passed by they found something on the path here." I relax when he says this, only to tense again at his expression as he studies my face. He slowly continues, "Here's what they found."

He hands me a picture of Nick seated in my lap. I'm baffled. How did this come to be on the trail? Dylan and I didn't bring any of our photos from our house. Moisture collects at the corners of my eyes and I look at Lucius as I fight back the tears.

I barely make the words out as I rub over my little boy's face, "I don't know how this got all the way out here. I didn't bring this here."

"Lena, I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps your son is telling you he is watching over you." His encouragement is suffocating me.

I really don't want to hear that right now, even though the thought of Nick by my side is somewhat comforting. I scoff at the thought, "I'm sorry Lucius. I don't believe that. Just like I don't believe that a good God would let a little boy die at the hands of a monster and make his mother watch."

He attempts to calmly minister to me, "Just remember, He let His little boy die at the hands of men that prided themselves at the art of torture." I can barely breathe through his justification.

I shake off the feeling of continuing an argument and decide to let the subject lead to something productive, "Ok, putting that to the side, I think we should get something out there. Something that lets people know where we are when we go out and gather supplies."

Another beaming smile stretches across his jubilant face, "Yes, of course. I have come across a lot of letterhead from my office. They contain the address so perhaps we could leave notes when we go out to get supplies. Be a beacon. Lord knows we have the room. Also considering we have some need for more people to help clean this place up. Oh, and I am well aware of the altercation you had with Angela in the hall. I don't blame you at all. I doubt she will be so abrasive in the future, though." He chuckles, making me smile.

He turns his attention up at the darkening sky and the clouds passing over. He continues to dive into the mysteries of our circumstance, "I don't know where this is going, but it's a good thing that we all found each other. There is no doubt in my mind that it was meant to be that we all met the way we did. I know you're having a hard time with that, but you will eventually see it. I know you will. Until then, let's just live in the moment and be thankful that we can help each other, okay?"

I give a genuine smile, "Okay. I can do that. Thank you for being,...well,...like you are." I'm thankful that he is the man he is. I look down at the weathered sidewalk in shame, "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"I forgive as I have been forgiven." His words bounce around in my head as he walks away. How does he know what to say to make my brain spin? He walks into the building and leaves me to contemplate his words.

I listen to the wind as it whips around the tall dry grass in the courtyard. The breeze makes me shiver, the coolness of the night in the mountains is quickly approaching. Faded memories pass through my mind as I inhale the crisp air. At home, I would be feeding Nick dinner by now, reading in my textbooks, and starting papers that would soon be due.