Room of Requirement, pt. 2

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On a Friday night in May, Harry wrote in his journal, the lamp beside him casting a warm glow on the paper. He glanced at Severus’ bed. Severus had been gone for over an hour; he’d told Harry it was just to take a bath.

When Severus finally returned, he moved delicately, beelining for his dresser. He bent down, opened the bottom drawer, and pulled out something that was shielded from Harry’s view. 

Harry heard the muffled turning of pages and realized it had to be a book. He cleared his throat. “Where were you for all this time, then?” 

Severus started. He put the book back in his drawer and stood. “Where you said to go; the prefects’ bathroom. I used some potions I made—” 

“What kind of potions?” 

Severus blushed. “Nothing that wasn’t, er, cosmetic.”

“What, like skin softener, or something?” Harry was joking, but Severus’ face reddened and he shrugged sheepishly. 

“Oh.” Harry put his journal in his lap, his attention focused on the nervous way Severus rubbed his hands. It was as though he’d stopped using Occlumency; his movements were less calculated. “So, what’s the occasion?”

Severus blinked. “There’s no occasion. I was just stressed. Y’know, the O.W.L.s and everything.”

“Well, I hardly go to that bathroom, so at least you’re making use of it.” Harry thought back to Moaning Myrtle and shuddered.

Severus gestured at Harry’s journal. “You’re writing? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes fixed on something Harry couldn’t see. 

Harry nodded. “I suppose, yeah. I’m…I’m writing about the differences between this timeline and mine.” Harry looked back on his writing. “You know, in less than two weeks you’d have called Lily a Mudblood.” 

Severus flinched at the word, then adjusted the collar on the black pajamas Harry had given him for his birthday. He turned, hesitant, then sat down across from Harry. He seemed to wait until his breath was in a steady rhythm before he spoke. “I…probably should’ve said this a long time ago, but thank you. For everything you’ve done.”

“Severus—” 

“Without you, I’d’ve lost her. And myself. Even though they’ll be after me when I graduate, it’ll be worth it. Doing the right thing, and all. I know I haven’t been fair to you, even though you’ve stayed for so long, with little thought of yourself. So whatever happens, know that you did enough. To help me, that is. Whatever debt you thought you owed me—it’s paid.” 

Harry blinked. Why is he bringing this up now? He didn’t know how to respond. “You’re welcome. And, er, I don’t think anything will happen at this point, unless I went back—too much has changed already, what difference would anything else make? I think the scale’s already tipped.” 

Severus looked away, lifting his tone. “Well, that’s just it—it wouldn’t be wrong if something did happen. It just would mean that this…” he gestured around him, particularly to the crimson and gold drapes by his bed, “…wasn’t meant to be.” 

Harry furrowed his brow. He didn’t feel like arguing, but he didn’t agree with Severus. Besides that, though, something was off.

Severus looked in the mirror on his nightstand and ran a hand through his hair. 

Harry sighed. “Okay, c’mon, you can tell me what you’re doing.” 

Severus hesitated. He met Harry’s eyes. “I’m going on a walk with Lily tonight.” 

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