This is how I Feel

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Hermione woke up on the morning of the twenty-third with thoughts whirling through her mind. There were so many things that she wanted to ask Draco, so many things she wanted to do for him. She felt as though she made progress last night, despite his rapid departure. She felt as though she had to write back to Harry and Ginny before she did anything, they had taken the time to write to her.

She told Ginny not to worry too much about her and Harry, and that she should probably stop looking at him with sad eyes because it wasn’t helping anyone. She wrote a much longer letter to Harry. She may have rambled on a bit about the awkwardness with Ron, probably too much. She didn’t dare say anything about the person with whom she had been spending the most time.  He would not appreciate that.

With only a few days until Christmas she thought she would be able to use that to get through to Draco. She headed down to the great hall to eat. The Christmas trees were gleaming with baubles and enchantments, Hermione thought that she may have even seen a pixie hiding within its branches. There were candles floating in the ceiling which was a snowy morning sky. It would really look beautiful at night. She sat down at the table and began to eat her breakfast. We could go for a Christmas dinner in Hogsmeade, she thought, he would never go for that. She had to think of something completely different, he wasn’t like anyone else she knew. He had bigger scars than most, even after the battle; especially after the battle. She knew that Lucius had been taken to Azkaban, and Draco had come under scrutiny from the ministry. Nothing was made of it of course, he was a minor and he had no positive reinforcement. How was he supposed to refuse?

She wrote something down on a small piece of paper and enchanted it to find Draco, and only Draco.

Meet me in the Hog’s Head at noon.

H.

She watched it flutter out of the hall and continued to eat her breakfast.

Draco awoke in his bed to find Pansy lying next to him. He sighed and his stormy grey eyes grew damp as he thought about the night before. Pansy was not comfort, she was a distraction. But even that kind of distraction was hardly enough to sate Draco anymore. He had been to the other side and now, looking back, he couldn’t imagine this side being anywhere near as satisfying. He blinked quickly to remove any evidence of what was inside him and dressed in his jeans, a shirt, jumper and jacket. He planned on getting away from the castle, if only for the day.

When he reached the back of the portrait to exit, which had been replaced by a picture of Snape, along with his portrait in the headmaster’s office, he opened it and was assaulted with a flying piece of paper. It flew about his head ever so stupidly and did so until Draco snatched it up with his hand. He opened it and read the message. A smile threatened to spread across his lips but it was soon replaced by a feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel like he was being dragged to the ground and would be unable to rise. He thought of Pansy up in his dormitory and Hermione waiting for him in the Hog’s Head at midday. The idea made him sick to his stomach. He knew which one he would rather forget.

He looked at his watch; ten thirty. Though he desperately wanted to, he wasn’t sure whether meeting Hermione in such a public place would be a good idea. He wandered aimlessly around the dungeons for what seemed like such a long time before he made his decision.

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