The Hidden Life of AJ Lee

Chapter 10- Pain

AJ Lee's POV
One week after the Elimination Chamber

Chicago, Illinois. That's where Raw was tonight. We all knew it was going to be chaos. No one had any doubt in their mind that Punk chants would be erupting in the Allstate Arena. The Authority had been using every bit of their power and pulled all the connections they could to try to calm the Punk Nation that was Chicago down, but we all knew it was no use.

That was actually something I liked about Chicago. They stayed with their favorites, they stuck by their heroes no matter what. And I, unlike a lot of people, was looking forward to the mass anarchy.

I showed up at the arena a little later than usual. I'd been feeling under the weather all week and I didn't want to spend any more time with my coworkers than I had to. Even though showing up later was a risk. Tamina was off for tonight for reasons of her own, so I was alone to defend myself. Gee, thanks Tamina.

I walked through the backstage with a few evil eyes shot my way. Wasn't anything new, just life for me. In response, as usual, I threw glares back at them and continued to walk towards the locker room.

When I walked into the room, I saw the Bella's and a bunch of cameras. As soon as I entered the door, all the camera men automatically turned their filming devices away and the Bella's rolled their eyes.

"Do you really have to do that?" Nikki asked me.

"Do what, walk into the Diva's locker room?" I replied. But I knew what she was really talking about.

When the reality show first started, I forced the producers to not film me, period. So, as a result, every time I came into contact with one of the cameras, they had to stop filming until I was away from sight. And I knew it got on the nerves of all the Total Divas.

"Just... Never mind," Brie said, crossing her arms. "Did you happen to see Cameron or Eva?"

"No..." I said, inching over to put my stuff down on one of the benches. "If you're so desperate to film something, just go to John or Daniel's locker room or something like that."

Neither one of them looked amused. "Why don't you?"

I didn't change my expression. I just sat down on the bench and crossed my legs, putting my hands in my lap. I wasn't moving.

The Bella's got the message that I wasn't going to leave and signaled for the camera crew to follow them out the door. I was alone at last.

I stuffed my hand into my bag until I found a bottle of water. I held it to my aching forehead to take away some of the pain. I didn't know why my head was throbbing so much, but it wasn't exactly something I could avoid.

Maybe since I was alone I could take a little power nap. I hadn't gotten much sleep lately because of my nightmares. I remembered the one from last night vividly. I was trying to run towards something, I wasn't sure what, that part had vanished from memory. All I remembered was a giant, blurry object shaped like a circle. But something was holding me back. It was someone's strong, unbreakable arms wrapped around my body. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break free. I was a prisoner in my own mind.

I tried to shake the visions out of my head and pulled my Diva's Title Belt out of my bag. I held it to my chest, remembering the early days of my reign. When I had Dolph and Big E with me, to tell me everything was going to be ok. The good old days.

I laid down on the bench and closed my eyes, still clinging to my title. I remember when being champion used to be fun. But now, it wasn't fun, it was life. And life wasn't fun.

Without noticing, I let my eyelids fall and a calm sleep came over me.

My nap, however, didn't last long as more divas continued to pile into the locker room. Chatter arose quickly and I was forced to sit up to glance at them.