The Hidden Life of AJ Lee

Chapter 11- Breath

AJ Lee's POV

For the longest time it was like that. I let hot tears spill down my face and snuggled into Punk's chest as he rubbed my back in an attempt to calm me down. There was no talking between us. Simply the quiet sobs that escaped my lips every so often and Punk lightly shushing me. My brain was swarming with my own voice screaming at me about my stupidity and ignorance. They got louder and louder as the clock ticked and my eyes flooded with every word.

After enough minutes had passed, CM Punk lightly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away from him, forcing my eyes to meet his. His orbs filled with concern once he saw me. I'm sure my eyes were bloodshot while dried tears and wet hair strands most likely framed my face. It took all the strength inside me not to fall apart as he took in my fragile presence.

He sighed out of disappointment, worry, and just pure confusion. "AJ..." Punk didn't get much further in his speech before I covered my eyes with my hands and shielded myself from his view. He grabbed my wrists and gently tried to rip my hands away, to which I fought back. "No, AJ, look at me."

My breathing became heavy as I tried to pull myself together. I brought my glance to him. His gaze was still sharp on me and his hair fell over his forehead in a rather messy fashion. Punk rose his hand and gently lifted my chin before he spoke again.

"What happened?" He said. What did happen? His guess was as good as mine.

"I-I don't know," was my pitiful response. But maybe with his help, I could piece together the puzzle. "H-How'd you know I was here? How'd I g-get here? Why'd you come?"

"Shhh," Punk said. I hadn't realized my voice had been speeding up as I continued to ask questions. Punk sighed again. "I found out you'd been admitted to the hospital last night through some article I found on the internet. I..." He stopped himself before continuing. "They told me that you had a bad reaction to the Lamictal pills. I knew no body else was going to help you and I couldn't leave you alone."

A lump grew in my throat. Word had gotten out that quickly? I could feel my eyes start to swell up again, only for Punk to cup my face with his hands. "Listen, it's not that big of a deal-"

"Not that b-big of a deal?" I answered. "My career is over! Stephanie's already mad at me, a-and once she finds out about my Bipolar-"

"AJ," he said, bringing my face closer to his. I could feel his hot breathe against my lips. "Stop overthinking." My eyes began to water and Punk's face softened as he let go of me. He looked at my trembling, shaking figure as I just looked at him with desperation. "Maybe it would help if you finally told me what this is all about?"

I forced myself to stop my muted choking sobs for a moment. After almost eight years of keeping this secret hidden in the dark, I guess it was time to tell someone the tragic tale of Miss AJ Lee. And I guess for now, Punk would have to fill the void as my savior.

"Are you sure you really want to know?" I asked, making sure Punk was aware of what he was getting himself into.

He looked at me in a puzzled manor until he finally nodded his head and said yes. I sighed and let myself drown in his hazel eyes as I opened my mouth.

"I've had Bipolar Disorder ever since I was little. I suffered from depression a lot and I didn't have a lot of friends. Everyone knew I had it so they were always really careful around me. They practically walked on eggshells to make sure I didn't blow my top and start to randomly fall into some mood swing. I hated it. Thanks to that, when I got older I kept everything a secret. I didn't tell anyone about my disorder to make sure that no one treated me special or different. I didn't want to be looked at as a time bomb. I didn't really to a good job of keeping my emotions stable on my own, so I got some medication to help. Which, based in where we are now, got me no where."