The Hidden Life of AJ Lee

Chapter 15- Wind

AJ Lee's POV

The Next Day

The next three hours were spent driving. No music, no radio, just me and the steering wheel. I stopped only when sleep started to catch up with me, to which I pulled over into the parking lot of some shopping mall and drifted off in the backseat with my jacket wrapped around me tightly. It reminded me of my early wrestling career. Sleeping in my car, hardly any money to get by, only determination keeping me going. In a way, it wasn't that different from now.

I woke up late the next morning, quickly jumping right back on the road. I drove for twelve hours straight, only stopping when I needed to use the restroom or fill up on gas. By the time I reached Chicago, it was almost nine o'clock at night. I was exhausted and my stomach growled and moaned with every passing minute, but I'd come this far. I couldn't turn back now.

I parked my car and walked out onto the crowded streets, only bringing my purse with me. I shoved by everyone in my way, completely focused on my destination, trying to avoid the chilling air of the Windy City. When the building in which CM Punk resided finally came into view, I sighed in relief and entered.

The people in the lobby looked at me, clearly judging me on my poor apperance. I couldn't blame them. Mascara was probably smeared all over my cheeks and I'd been wearing the same clothes for almost twenty four hours, not to mention I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. I avoided their harsh eyes and made way to the staircase. I slowly moved up the stairs to Punk's floor, being very leisurely as I did.

I eventually stepped foot onto his floor and later found myself at his front door. Instead of knocking, I gently pressed my body against the wood, listening to see if I heard any sound from inside. I could faintly make out the sound of a television show.

I tried to imagine him, sitting with some soda in his hand, just watching TV. How I wished that maybe he could feel my presence and walk over to the door. I'd fall, he'd catch me in his strong arms and then we'd talk to each other for hours on end. I waited, hoping that I'd find myself in his embrace, but the reassurance never came.

My back now to the door, I dug around in my purse until I found an old, hardly functional pen and a crumbled receipt to some restaurant. I scribbled a small note on the clean side.

I'm sorry. Goodbye. -AJ

After signing my name, I kneeled down on the floor. The paper was clutched tightly in my hands. One part of me was screaming to just slide it under the door, but the other was saying to rip the note into pieces.

All I wanted was for him to be happy and for my job to be intact. By leaving, I would be one less problem in his life and no one could ever question me for having secret links with the guy that walked out of the company. But without Punk, I'd be completely alone, falling into my own self destruction.

With a heavy heart, I flattened the receipt with my palms and gently slid it under the door. Once it was far enough away from me that I could no longer retrieve it, I got up and walked towards the staircase.

Instead of making way towards the lobby again, I went in the opposite position towards the roof. It was a long way, but I finally found the door leading to the outside.

I walked out into the cold Chicago winds and towards the edge of the roof. I set my bag down and leaned my body against the short little wall that separated standing from falling, looking into the city lights. Stunning, wild, multicolored illuminations coming from all over. It made one think that the world was beautiful, even though all it held was horror. My eyes then looked downwards, seeing how high I actually was above the ground. The feeling of danger and excitement filled my veins.