Autumn - In Love With My Boss (An Office Romance)| Completed

Chapter 3 - Autumn

Somehow, I managed to get through that day. It was a complete disaster. No, I was a complete disaster. I feel so stupid and am still embarrassed about the whole thing this morning with my outfit and Mr. Hunter. God, how unprofessional and pathetic I was! Well, nothing new, right? Fortunately, the day is over and I can now curl up on the couch with a cup of hot tea and forget about all that. Or so I thought.

My phone buzzes.

Babe, I'll be late again tonight. Don't wait up. Love ya.

He's kidding, right? Late? Mike is never late, he doesn't come home at all. I throw the phone back on the coffee table and walk into the kitchen to get myself something more appropriate than tea. I look through the cabinets and find a bottle of wine. Chardonnay, yum. I open it and take it back into the living room. No, I don't need a glass. Who needs a glass when you just want to drown your sorrows? Exactly. No one.

And why are wine bottles not bigger? Seriously, just when you start to feel a little bit better, the wine is gone. But at least I feel bold enough now to send a nice little response to that unfaithful guy of mine.

I grab my phone from the coffee table and start typing.

I won't wait up. We're done. Have fun fucking that blonde chick from finances. XOXO

I hit the send button and let myself fall back into the couch cushions, exhausted and slightly drunk. Okay, maybe really drunk. It doesn't take much to knock me out. Somehow I'm hoping for a text from Mike, telling me not to be silly and that he'll be home in an hour or so. Yeah, that's how drunk I am. My phone, though, punishes my idiocy with muteness.

Even though I know for a fact that he is the worst cheater on earth, I still hope. This is what hurts the most - carrying hope around with you like an extremely heavy backpack that just keeps dragging you down and prevents you from moving even one step forward. It makes you stay in one place, almost paralyzed by the leaden weight it casts on you. Deep in my heart lingers this silly wish like a disease. I want Mike to tell me that I got it all wrong and that there is an easy and logical explanation for everything. But reason tells me I already have the one explanation I need. He does not love me. That is all there is to the story. And it makes the burden I'm carrying on my back even heavier. One of these days, it will break me.

Somehow, I manage to heave my intoxicated body off the couch and I stumble across the living room towards my laptop which is silently waiting for me on the end table at the window. Bumping clumsily into the bookshelves a couple of times, I get there and rummage through the hard drive, looking for my favorite song to listen to in situations like that. It's by that amazing British singer who died a few years ago. She sings about men and the impact her dad's adultery had on her and her mom. Can you guess it? Exactly, that's the song. Fitting, isn't it? I find it, hit play, and turn up the volume. As the first notes sound out of the speaker, I collapse into the chair that stands nearby and stare at the dark world outside.