Autumn - In Love With My Boss (An Office Romance)| Completed

Chapter 30 - Autumn

"What do you mean, he's not in the office?"

That lady regards me with a snakelike expression; cold and appraisingly.

"As I said, Mr. Marlow is not here today."

I do my best to remain calm and professional with her, even though I feel the strong urge to scratch her eyes out.

"You must think I'm stupid. My husband is always in his office, he never misses work."

"I'm sorry I can't help you. He's out of town. Didn't you know?"

"That's none of your business," Mrs. Marlow snorts in defense.

I guess I rubbed her the wrong way. Good.

She rummages through her zebra print purse and retrieves a business card.

"Here."

She throws it on my desk.

"When he comes back, tell him to call." With one last hateful glance at me she turns and stomps to the elevator.

Curiously, I pick up the card and study it.

Gary Boulder

Attorney at Law

Phone: 666-767 37 68

A lawyer? Why is he supposed to call a lawyer? And why did she not tell him at home? I thought they were married, don't they live together? A glimmer of hope flares up in my mind. What if they don't? That would explain why she was unaware about his leaving town. Moreover, it would also explain why he never mentioned her. Could it be?

The thought makes me smile, even though this morning has sucked pretty bad so far. I didn't know about my boss's travel plans either, he just left a note on my desk, informing me he had to leave on short notice. No word when I could expect him back. I actually hoped to see him today. I so did.

Why?

I'm not sure, to be honest. Reason tells me I should forget about what happened in his living room, it would be better for all of us. For him, for me, for his wife, shit, even for Cody. Although we both reassured each other after leaving the ice rink that we were nothing but friends, I can't help feeling that he wasn't really honest about it. He is a nice guy, I genuinely like him, he makes me laugh and it is so easy to be with him. No drama, no yelling, just fun. I should feel drawn to him, he is so nice to me, he treats me with respect and takes real interest in me. My heart, however, is not with him. With every beat it painfully reminds me who it belongs to, who it actually wants. It wants my boss.

My skin still remembers the warmth of his breath, the soft touch of his hands that caressed me, his strong arms that held me in tight embrace. It was wrong to make him believe I had a date with Cody. I mean, I was angry, upset and hurt; and yet, all weekend long I regretted my infantile behavior. He was right. I should have talked to him right away to clear things up. After all, I didn't hear his side of the story, I didn't give him a chance to explain. As usual, the hypersensitive, pouting, self-sabotaging little kid that still resides within me and refuses to grow up tends to take over in uncomfortable situations and right then, that stupid Friday morning, it got the better of me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

All weekend I felt terrible. I longed to see Mr. Marlow, I literally counted the hours, the minutes until I could go back to work to make everything okay again. The look he gave me after my phone call from Cody has been haunting me; it was so full of disappointment, confusion, anger, and ... ice. His eyes were so cold my hands still begin to tremble when I think about it. It is my fault, I need to make it right, I need to! I meant to work out a plan of what to say to him, but nothing I came up with seemed fit, so I convinced myself that once he stands in front of me I would know what to do. Well, here we are, though. His office is empty, no Mr. Marlow around, my chance to straighten it out is gone, just like he is.

As things are now, I doubt he will want me to accompany him to the gala. Yes, he said on Friday that he would pick me up, but apparently, he had the entire weekend to think things over, and now that he is gone, I'm pretty certain that the gala is not going to happen, not for me anyway. I screwed up, big time.

Monday goes by so slowly. With no one else in the office, all that is left for me to do is work through my to-do-list for the art exhibit, but I can't concentrate. My thoughts keep drifting back to him. It's pure torture being in this place, in his place, without him. At three I give up trying to get any work done. Instead, I just stare at the huge chrome clock on the wall. Tick tock, tick tock.

Finally. Finally, it is time to pack up and go home.

After a sleepless night, I silently hope for a better day. But what do you know, Tuesday doesn't hold much improvement. Except for a new potential client, the floor I work on is deserted. I'm the only one here, Mr. Marlow remains gone. No word from him either, no text, no call to let me know where he is, when he will come back.

The clock keeps mocking me with its loud, obnoxious tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. Minutes stretch out like chewing gum, hours don't seem to pass at all. Eventually, though, I have made it through another dull work day.

Again, I don't get much sleep, and again I'm disappointed when I arrive at my desk. He is still not here. I feel panic creeping through my body. What if he won't return at all? What if he quit?

Autumn, I tell myself, be reasonable. Why would he quit? He's probably just on one of his business trips, maybe in Europe. That he is not back yet is no cause for panic.

See, I try. However, I can't calm myself down. I have that unsettling feeling in my stomach that I might never see him again. I blink away tears that are about to run down my cheeks and pick up a file from the stack that is waiting for me on my desk. Better get to work, stupid, and forget your silly worries about the man you can never have anyway.

There! That was my phone buzzing in my purse, wasn't it? My heart is pounding so heavily I can feel it in my throat. Is it him? My trembling fingers have trouble finding that stupid thing among all my other clutter I carry around with me on a daily basis.

Buried underneath a pack of Kleenexes and my stash of hand lotion, I eventually find it. Yes, it is a text! But the number? I don't know it. Maybe Mr. Marlow used a different phone to contact me?

I'm so nervous when I open the message that I almost drop the device on the marble tiles.

Hey Babe, you alright? Sorry about what happened, I didn't mean to hit you. Thanks for not reporting me. You know I would never hurt you. Can we talk tonight? I could pick you up at 7. Love you, Mike

What? I mean, seriously, what the fuck? Could someone please explain to me what this guy is thinking? Is he high or something? Thanks for not reporting me, I would never hurt you. Really, Mike, really? What about all those times you fucked around? Is that your version of not hurting me or do you honestly believe I never figured it out? What is wrong with you?

Furious, I type a response.

Even if I wanted to meet you, I have plans. Going to a gala tonight. Something you would have never dreamed of taking me to. I said it before, but I'll tell you again so you get it. Go to hell, Mike.

Yes, the gala was a lie. I'm well aware that I'm staying home tonight, but I didn't need to rub his nose in it, right? He should not think for one minute that my evenings are lonely and tearful. Not that they aren't, but he doesn't need to know that.

I throw my phone back in my purse, but not before shutting it down. I don't want to receive another unwanted text from that SOB. I know it also means that I might not see if my boss tries to reach me, but frankly, after this, I have given up on hoping to receive a sign of life from him. I don't matter to him, as much as I don't matter to Mike.

These thoughts are quite destructive, they start to wreak havoc in my heart. I have to get a grip. What's the best medicine to numb your brain? Yes, office work. So let's get to it.

I work silently away until night spreads its dark wings over the skyline of the city, announcing that it's time to go home.