Redefining Love (Original)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"So she hasn't been saying anything about all of this? Not even after you all left the court house?" Cierra began to pry. "No, it's like she's been pushing me away since news broke that night. She barely kissed or touched me. I really don't understand. After word leaked about what Nick and Lexi did in the lot it completely discredited that E! story. Plus it rushed the judge to finally finalize their divorce. But yet she's still so...so different. To be honest it's kind of like the day we first met and she-she was very...aloof. I really don't know what to do guys". Teri wiped away a couple of tears as she looked up to the ceiling trying to pull back more from falling. She was laid back in the couch with both Cierra and Maia cuddled into her, snacking on popcorn and red vines.

The three of them were in Maia and Cierra's hotel room. Once they all landed in New York they went to their rooms to shower and change into more comfortable clothes. Cierra and Maia shared one room and Teri and Sherri shared another. But once Sherri finished showering she got dressed and headed to meet a college friend, leaving Teri with only the basic details. So after talking with her kids she made her way over to the room across the hall to eat junk and watch movies with her girls; thankful that the chain of interviews did not start until the morning.

"Maybe it's just a lot for her to take in," Maia offered, "It has only been a few days and a lot has happened so quickly. She went from being a married woman that was 'in the closet' with a girlfriend, to being publicly pulled out of the closet, to divorced, to back in the closet all over again. And let's not forget all of the harassment she has gone through".

"Yeah, but even though Mama has her sad days, she isn't typically one to be mean. And that is really how she has been lately. We just want to help her and be there for her. Like I tried to call her a few times after the divorce was complete and even after that night everything came out and she ignored my calls," Cierra expressed. "Mine too," Maia said as Cierra continued, "Then this morning when we all met up at the airport did anyone else notice how she was? She was just...different and a little snobbish. I went to sit next to her and give her a hug and she turned to get her headphone from her bag and totally tuned me out before I could even utter a word. I thought it was just me until I saw how she boxed everyone out as soon as someone got close".

They all sat in silence as the movie continued to play and they all just began to reflect on her behavior. "Maybe," Teri started, "Maybe she is acting like this because she knows that we deeply care". "I don't get it," Maia sat up trying to grasp what Teri was saying. "Think about it. When things go wrong we spring into action. We-we do things, and try to protect her as if she's a small child made out of crystal, without her consent or input. We show up and we intrude, uninvited at times. Maybe we are overwhelming her or adding to her distress. Maybe she wants space from us. I think we should give her what she wants and just step back and let her be until she asks for help".

Cierra sprang up and her expression matched Maia's disapproving one. "What do you mean 'we'? You two are together. You two voluntarily and involuntarily run to each other for everything. You can't just give up, mom. Especially now. She's just having a rough few days. And you're just going to drop her?" Cierra was visually getting upset. She has been rooting for the two since day one. There was no way it could end like this. "I would never 'drop' her, Cie. It's just, since meeting her I found all of this love to give and there's all of these restrictions. One minute she wants everything to be a secret and then the next moment she wants to post pictures of us online and bear hugging me in front of you guys. And you should have seen her face when word got out, as if her whole world completely shattered," Teri began to cry a litter harder as she continued, "I'm in love with her and no matter what I will always be in love with her. But she has some things that she must deal with on her own. But I'll still be right here waiting for her or for when she needs help. Maybe-maybe that's the problem we weren't too close of friends first. I mean there was definitely something there but...we both needed love and we jumped the gun. Friends can love each other, can't they? ...I can be that friend if that is all I can be".

Teri was shaking at the thought. The girls have never seen Teri this emotionally upset. They even had tears streaming down their faces and for once they didn't know how they could fix any of this. "Teri, maybe you should just take time and think it over, you know". "Maia, I can't handle another failed relationship. I really might just shut down".

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"Aloof? That friend? On her own? Failed relationship?"

Those words just kept ringing in Sherri's ears as she listened to the voicemail over and over again. Teri must have pocket dialed her. It felt like an out of body experience; everything was just so messed up. She didn't even know what to do anymore.

Her taxi just pulled up to the hotel. She was glad that she was able to escape reality for a few hours at least. But now everything was drizzling back down all around her.

She was standing in front of the door not completely sure as to what step to take next. To her right she could hear laughing and talking coming out of Maia and Cierra's room. She could also hear Teri's laugh along with them. She remembered hearing the girls talking in the background of the voicemail and assumed Teri has been in there the whole time, considering the voicemail was from two hours earlier. She stepped to the door and attempted to knock but thought against it. She simply turned back around and went into her own room.

She once again showered, brushed her teeth, and went to put on her pajamas. When she walked out of the bathroom Teri was waiting on one of the beds. "Hey love. How was the game?" Sherri hesitated before answering, not sure if she should bring up the voicemail. But she was too mentally exhausted. "It was fun. Nice to see an old face". Sherri was failing to make eye contact not really sure of her next moves or words. "I bet love. Want to cuddle and watch bad hotel cable?"

"I'm actually really tired". Sherri climbed into the bed opposite of Teri. "Do you mind turning off the light?" Teri sat there speechless for a moment as her head hung low, before getting up and turning off the light. After talking to the girls a little bit more she realized that she wanted to continue to fight for their relationship. But this was crushing her spirit. It has been so long since they slept in separate beds, but Teri wasn't so sure that climbing into bed with her would be a good idea at the moment. That night neither one of them were able to get much sleep.

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Teri got up much earlier than Sherri and began to get dressed and ready for what the day had in store. She and Sherri had a couple of interviews separate from the girls that morning.

She looked over at the sleeping curly haired woman, trying to figure out what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers. She walked over to the side of the bed and sat there to gently stroke the side of her head, playing with a few tendrils that fell across her face. She moved her hand along her shoulder and began to rub her back. This was the most intimate contact she has had with her in the past few days.

The more she looked down at her the more tears began to burn her eyes. "I'm so sorry," Teri began to whisper. She knew that the sleeping woman could not hear her but she couldn't find the strength to say any of this to her face while she was awake and looking at her with her big brown eyes. "I feel like I am constantly apologizing to you. I love you so much. So so much. I have never been in love with anyone like this even though this all happened so quickly. I know that I am far from perfect, love. But I understand how you are feeling. I know that we are supposed to be yin and yang. But I can tell by your actions and reactions to all this that... I have too much love to give to have someone so ashamed of it. I'm so sorry that you feel so...ashamed of this, of me. But I will always be that shoulder and that friend. I love you too much to add to your pain. My beautiful, beautiful love". At this point Teri's tears were strongly flowing once again. She quickly got her things and headed down for breakfast knowing that Sherri' alarm will be going off in a few moments.

As soon as the room door closed Sherri sat up and placed her face in her hands as she sobbed uncontrollably. She has been awake since Teri woke up, not able to sleep much that night either. She heard everything but couldn't build the strength to open her eyes and speak to the woman she loved. She knew she was acting weird and she knew most of what Teri said was true. But she never thought Teri would end things. She knew she was constantly putting up walls and making things complicated at random. She was trying to improve, but she lacked off a bit believing that the depth of Teri's love at least would never cause either of them to give up.