Dragon Dreams

Chapter 11: Runaway (2/3)

With all my senses fully tuned to my surroundings, I padded through the forest on four legs. The midday sun was high above me, and the lazy period of the day seemed to slow down the pace of living. Insects buzzed and flitted through blocks of sunlight. A myriad of competing smells clamored for my attention. Woodsy aromas wafted from the trees and sap; earthy odors clung to the leafy decay that lined the forest floor. I was detecting animals too, a musky whiff here and there of different creatures I could not identify. My nose, however, was interested in one scent in particular—something that promised a meal. 

The most amazing thing was my ability to perceive distance and direction. I had no idea how it worked, but the information was just there. It was a weird feeling to follow a scent that was unfamiliar, yet attracted me in a way I couldn't describe. As I neared a grassy clearing, my pace slowed, and my body unconsciously sunk low to the ground. I thought I must be stalking my prey.

Waiting in some ferns and bushes for cover, I looked intently for movements in the grass. Sure enough, a brown rabbit hopped into my view, nibbling at some greens at the edge of the clearing. My eyes narrowed, and I dug in my claws with my whole body tensed and prepared to spring. Time slowed; I was barely breathing, waiting for my moment. Then, all at once, I released the tension, and everything became a blur.

It did not go so well that first time. I pounced at the rabbit but missed badly, landing in a heap and ending up with a nose full of pine needles. All I saw was a flash of white tail as my prey escaped into the undergrowth. Annoyed and embarrassed, I sneezed and dusted myself off. "Shit. I guess these instincts only get me so far," I thought. "Practice makes perfect."

I walked for a while longer until I left the thinning trees and happened upon a much larger field. Faint rustling sounds in my ears told me it was full of grazing rabbits. I crept slowly, catlike, through the grass and flowers, tasting the air as I went. A nearby rabbit raised its head, sniffing nervously. Too late—I leaped at the poor creature and had it in my jaws before it could react. In one motion, I gave a jerk that snapped its neck. Then I just stood with my prize hanging limply from my mouth. The dragon parts of my mind were euphoric about the kill, and the adrenaline kept me on a bit of a high. I put the rabbit down next to a tree and ventured back out to find another. In just a few minutes I had three carcasses to make a meal.

As I looked with reluctance at the animals spread out on the grass, my stomach produced a cavernous growl. "This won't be pretty," I thought. Trying to silence my qualms, I took a rabbit's leg in my mouth and...I couldn't do it. I couldn't force myself to take a bite. My human mind was rebelling too much. I stood back up on my hind legs, my head swimming with frustration, hunger, and homesickness. With a strained roar, I slashed at the nearby tree with my claws, spraying splinters and leaving deep gashes—I was genuinely pissed off at my whole situation.

"Damn it all!" I thought, "This is all just useless. I'm useless. What if this is even worse than being home? If I can't make it out here, what's left to try?" Some of my worst fears started swirling in my head. All the scenarios I had tried to lock away were roaring to life, overwhelming me with what the future might hold. My hunger and desperation growing, breaking down what's left of my humanity, turning me into just another wild animal. I shuddered. "This is no way to think. I'm stronger than this. I will fight for my family."

After regaining some composure, I walked all the way back to my temporary home on the ridge in a foul mood. There would be no flying for me, at least, not while it was light and I could be seen. It was still early in the afternoon, judging by the sun, and there was not much I could do to take my mind off my stomach. I fished one of my books out of my duffel and curled up in the shade of the boulder to read for a while. After a few pages, I glanced over at my open bag. The faces of my family, including my former human features, smiled at me from a photo I had uncovered. I still didn't want to call home for some reason; everything was too fresh, too raw from my sudden departure. But I started to feel worse and worse from the silence. Delaying the inevitable conversation with them would just make it more painful. They needed answers, and all I had given them was a vague note.

I reached for my phone. After turning it on again, I waited for the bars to show up as my stylus hovered over my home phone number. There were more notifications of new messages showing up, but I ignored them and pressed the number. There was hardly any ringing before the call was answered. Of course, it was my mom.

"Josh, oh my god, what are you...just, what do you think you're doing? Are you absolutely insane? Doing something like this to your own family. What the hell made you think that was okay?" She sounded more heartbroken than angry. The words were shrill, and there were tears in her voice.

I hadn't expected anything different. Mom's was a natural reaction, but I still wasn't prepared to internalize the sheer pain that she felt. No words came to me. I just stared at the screen as it slipped through my trembling paw and fell onto the dirt. I knelt beside it, tears already forming in my own eyes. Sounds welled up from inside me—the low, mournful moans of a dragon's sorrow.

My mom's voice broke in again. "Josh?"

I picked the phone back up. "I'm sorry. I was just...so scared." My voice was tight between the sobs. "Those thoughts and instincts, they're not under control. It was so bad that I...I didn't want to hurt anyone. I'm dangerous, Mom! That's why I did this."

"That's why we're here. Your family is here to help you. It can't be all that bad."

My free paw clenched into a fist. Why was she in denial about this? What could I say to convey the seriousness of my situation. My words came out with a slight edge. "No, Mom. I almost killed somebody on the way here. It's so fast sometimes, and then, suddenly, I'm not myself. It's awful, and I didn't want anything to happen because of me."

Strangely, she almost seemed to calm down as I explained it all to her. "I don't suppose you're going to tell us where you are?"

"Just that I'm safe for now. I need the space, but I am really missing home right now. As long as my phone lasts out here, I'll try to call or text, so at least we have that."

"What do you expect us to tell people while...while you're gone?" She labored through the final words, which were unwelcome on a mother's lips. It wasn't fair that she had to say them at all.

"The truth. Tell them I ran away." It was something that not many of my friends would believe, but there was nothing to do other than invent a story and cover up the real reasons.

She sighed, and I imagined her closing her eyes and gripping the phone even harder, her pale knuckles even whiter. An undertone of defeat came through in her voice. "Yeah, okay. That will be hard for everyone to swallow. But, your father and I will talk about it."

I was nearly at my emotional breaking point. Wearily, I made an effort to finish up the conversation. "Tell everyone there I send my love."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me something. Promise me that you will find a way to come back—to find your old self again. I need to know that you're coming back. I need to hear it." Her voice came through crystal clear, as if the airwaves picked up on the gravity of the words and delivered them with appropriate definition.

"Mom, I promise. I may never be like my old self, but I will find a way for us to be together. It keeps me going." The words were all true. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my family.

"You should know Alex hasn't eaten all day. I think she's taking this hardest of all. Just come back soon." And that was all before she hung up. Not even an exchange of goodbyes—I guess she wanted to leave me with those words to think about.

I turned off my phone without much further thought. The hunger was back and clawing with vengeance at my insides. I went back to reading and tried my best to ignore it. "I'll have to eat sometime," I admitted. "There's just something not human about devouring a fresh kill, and I can't get over it." Fully aware that my stomach would win eventually, I knew I had to figure this out by tomorrow, or I might be in trouble. Something besides cute little rabbits, maybe.

If you are enjoying this story, please consider leaving a vote or comment to tell me your thoughts! I really appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you for reading!