Dragon Dreams

Chapter 28: Ashes (2/2)

"No," I whispered, looking down at the ash clinging to my forepaws. A tear splashed down, revealing a streak of red beneath the dark gray.

She pressed on in a quiet voice. "They said it was a...a murder-suicide. They found his gun and some...some of him as well. He definitely started the fire after he...he...apparently, the man was crazy."

The tears continued to flow over my scales, and the icy grip of shock and despair held me frozen. I could barely form the words that spilled weakly from me. "They c-can't be gone."

"Your things were in the shed," my mom went on. "So, we got a call about you. The police were asking things. We didn't say anything since we didn't know what happened. But we came up, and we were so worried..." A sob overcame her.

I was only half listening. The chaos in my mind kept coming back to the same thing: I had let this happen.

"I wasn't here for them," I wailed, clenching bits of grass and dirt in a trembling paw. A low, moaning cry came from my throat.

"Josh," my dad said. "I can't imagine how hard this must be. Please, come with us. We're together now, and things will be alright."

I sniffed as the tears eased their flow, not because I felt better, but from the gnawing anger that dulled my sadness. My claws gripped the clump of turf even harder. "Things will be alright? There's no hope for that anymore."

"Your father's right," my mom added. "Please let us help you, Josh."

Bits of ash flaked off my scales as I drew myself up taller, holding back a growl that wanted to leap out at them. However I couldn't hide the indignation in my twitching tail or flattened ears.

"Help me?" I said. "By hiding me away again? I can't...I just can't let you do that to me."

My parents didn't seem to listen, and my mother shook her head slowly. "We'll do whatever we can to help you, Josh. We can protect you. You'll be with your family again. Don't you want that?"

"You don't understand!" The growling undertone was back in my voice, my anger increasing its hold against my will. "I don't want to go back. I need to...I need you to let go of who I used to be."

My jaw tightened. I didn't want the conversation to happen like this, not under these circumstances, but it was too late to take it back now.

"Let go?" my mom said, stunned. "How can you say that to your mother? We still know who you are, Josh."

My temper flared and heat rose into my throat. "You have no idea who I am!" I shouted. "You won't stop trying to change me!"

The three faces stared in silence.

I continued, caught up in the fraught emotions. "I am not human." The statement fell like a hammer.

"Josh, you're not thinking clearly," my father said forcefully, his emotions rising with mine. "Never say that again. Now, I'm going to ask you again to come with us. As my son, you will do as I say!"

Bad choice, I thought.

I snapped my wings open wide as I lunged forward. Burning anger flared in my muscles. It was all I could do not to spit fire as a massive roar rose up from my throat and thundered through the air. The force of my lungs bent the grass before me and made my parents step back and grab onto each other, eyes wide. Alex stood still, however, a strange mixture of confusion and pity on her face.

The roar petered out, and I closed my jaws, although echoes continued for a few seconds as I glared at my sister, anger burning like bile on my tongue.

"I'm not your son anymore," I spat through my pointed fangs. "And I'm not your brother."

"I don't believe you," Alex breathed as my parents stood in stunned silence.

"I don't care," I growled back. "It makes no difference. When the world sees a monster, it's a monster they'll get. And if my own parents are scared of what I'm capable of, it's time to part ways."

She tilted her chin up slightly, and the movement made a single tear glisten on her cheek. "You can't do this to us." Her voice was thin and close to breaking. "You promised."

"I promised a little boy that I could protect him! You see what happens when I make promises I can't keep!"

"It's not your—"

I pounded a forepaw into the ground. "Don't tell me it's not my fault! I've fooled myself long enough, and it's time I learned my lesson. There's no place for me in your world."

Alex bit her lip. She didn't move or speak, and my parents still regarded me with white-faced fear. She stepped forward and reached out a hand. Her cheeks were tear-stained, but her face was set once more. The outstretched fingers reached for my muzzle.

I pulled my head back as her hand got closer. I couldn't stand to have her touch me, not when I had made up my mind to leave. My sister stopped when I took a step away from her. Her hand fell.

"Goodbye," I said, turning back to the forest. I didn't look back as I stepped quickly over the yellow line and approached the dark border of trees.

"No, please! Not again!" she called after me. I ignored her and loped across the damp earth, slipping into the shadows.

"Mom, Dad, say something to him, please," she implored, before crying out my name one last time. "Josh!" The word came out of her throat ragged and raw, scarred by emotion. It echoed around the forest as it made its way to my fleeing form, falling on deaf ears.

The heat of anger left me after I had walked a while in silence, leaving me numb. The loss of Wes and his mother to such a senseless tragedy had drained all feeling from me. On top of that, my own family couldn't accept me.

I withdrew the whole of my spirit into myself, severing all connections to the outside. Now, no dragon could sense my athka, not even Ares. I couldn't bear to let Rofar and the others see me like this.

I was content to be alone with my grief. Eventually, my aimless meandering through the woods brought me back to the outcrop where I had first landed the night I ran away. It seemed fitting. The boulders welcomed me in silence as I sprawled on the mossy earth beside them. I lay with my body held in stillness, only my thoughts moved within me. Tears did not come.

Rain began to fall in the distance, rolling sounds coming from the depths of the forest before the drops finally came to me. It was getting dark. As I lay on the cold ground, the water settled softly on my scales, running off my body in tangled, trickling lines. I stared at them without much thought. The rain was too soft, I decided. It numbed me. I wanted nature to give me something stronger—I wanted to feel something. Instead, the misting rain blanketed me in soundless isolation. No pelting torrents on which to turn my thoughts.

Although the water slowly washed the ash from my scales, the cleansing was merely superficial. A cold weight persisted in my chest and limbs.

The rain magnified the scents of the air around me many times over. I could smell traces of animals, the perfume of trees and flowers. The soft mineral fragrance of stone came to life from the granite boulders nearby. The bitter smell of ash clung to the earth where the rain had deposited it. It mixed with the damp, mossy aromas of decay that rose up from the dirt and mud beneath me.

The air around me sank into darkness as the persistent rain made small pools on the ground. I didn't weep any more. The tide of my breathing moved in a steady rhythm as flickers of thought winked in and out in my mind. But I couldn't process most of it. I just knew, however, that things would be different from now on. The world had changed so much for me in no time at all.

Suddenly, I realized I wasn't alone. I looked out into the darkness. Something was out there in the rain. A dragon. It stood fringed in shadow a short distance in front of me. The smell was familiar, dark and haunting, reminiscent of smoke and mist.

It was him.

Ares.

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