Ol' Flint the Crow

The Plan

Samuel collapsed just on top of the hill overlooking an expansive mansion, home of the infamous Madam. Surrounded by a rampart of wood, the building gave off an unwelcoming atmosphere in spite of how elegantly it was to gaze at. There were too many threatening Gok statues build into the house walls. There were large windows that you could peer through to catch glimpses of the beautiful tapestries hanging inside. In one of these windows, there was a massive living room, in full view, where Samuel could just make out a towering harp. This instrument intrigued the flute player very much causing him to breathe a little easier.

Noticing small outlines of four-legged creatures roaming the front garden, Samuel squinted his eyes. It was difficult at first to discern what these beasts were, but Samuel had keen eyesight. They were domesticated pigs. Large enough to be mistaken for their wilder boar cousins, these pigs had sharp tusk that protruded out of their massive jaws. Their thick hooves, that could trample to death anything that dared to stand in their way, dug into the grass and kick up mounds of dirt.

The beasts caused Samuel to curl up his body, fearing the intimidating pigs would catch him.

"Drat!" cawed Flint after scanning the front of the mansion thoroughly. "I know those pigs. Worst of all, they have my scent. If I set one talon anywhere near of sniffing distance, it'll spoil the whole mission. This will be a more difficult task then I presumed. Damn it!" Eyeballing the humans, Flint sighed, "Someone will have to go in my place."

Unstrapping her crossbow, Bleak barked, "Let's just storm the place and be done with it."

"T-this doesn't have to end in unnecessary bloodshed!" Samuel exclaimed as he reached out for the barmaid to pull her back.

Surprisingly, Flint nodded his head. "I agree with Samuel on this. Although, we could give these pigs a good thrashing, they are loyal to the Blood Bather. Unclean animals such as them are not fit for sacrifice. Therefore, they will not let us kill their 'merciful' mistress. No, Bleak. You will have to kill all of them before we can set foot in that house. And why must animals die for the Madam?"

Bleak's face turned pale at what Flint had said. With a guilt ridden expression, she placed her hand on the rabbits hanging besides her hip and sulked.

"Miss Bleak," the crow looked up at the depressed bartender and smiled at her. "Hey. You don't need to feel so remorseful. I'm sorry I said it like that. If rabbit meat gives you pleasure, then that makes me happy. It really does Bleak." Flint again grinned to assure the barmaid that he was being sincere. Then the bird scratched at his beak and pondered for another plan. "The best course of action is the diplomatic approach. We sneak our way inside. How we do that exactly, well, I'm not yet sure. Hmm..."

Suddenly, Flint's eyebrow jolted up at the minstrel. Rubbing his tongue over the edge of his beak, the crow strolled around Samuel, examining him from head to foot. This made the flute player rather embarrassed.

"Miss Bleak," Flint said while his eye was still transfixed on Samuel. "What do you think of our musically inclined companion? My meaning is, you are a female, and he's a male... Do you find Mr. Samuel to be attractive? Would he be a reasonable mate in your personal opinion? Hypothetically, of course."

The bartender turned red as a tomato and said, "What?!"

Meanwhile, Samuel could not help but giggle as he gazed from Flint to Bleak.

"Would a human woman desire to be with Mr. Samuel carnally?" Flint said blatantly.

Glaring at the grinning flute player, Bleak haughtily answered, "I-I doubt that's at all important right now."

"Humans!" scoffed the bird. "So taboo about such a simple subject as sex."

The barmaid covered her flustered face in her hands and shouted "Gods!"