The Tattooed Devil Wears Chucks

Chapter 33: Daddy Dan

Jax.

What the fuck am I doing?

My feet are carrying me across the paved road to the Brooks house.  I don't know what I'm going to say, but I need to say something.  The street lamps are on, lighting my path on a cool Luxberg night.  Once I'm on the porch, I can't bring myself to knock.  My hand rises but falls a few times in attempt.

Everything Gabby told me this afternoon tells me I need to be here, on this porch, knocking on this door. She told her dad she loves me. That she loves the man he is basically paid to hate. He knows that I love her. If I don't knock on this door, and we continue as we are, Gabby will not have a life like she deserves. So first I need to talk to Dan about my relationship with his daughter. Once this is clear, then I need to talk Gabby into going to college, which is a conversation for another day.

Sweat begins to bead on my forehead and the back of my neck as I hover over a Welcome mat outside their door. I definitely am feeling anything but welcome.

"Just knock Jax." I mutter under my breath.

My hand rises again, and again halts before coming into contact with the dark stained wood. Nope. Can't do it.  I turn back around, walking the three steps back to their yard to begin my short jaunt back to safe grounds.

"Jackson?"

My feet stop, I didn't even make it to the sidewalk in front of their house.  I turn and look up to Dan, placing my hands in the pockets of my jeans.  He stands on his porch with the front door hanging open.  My nerves yank my stomach in a million different directions.

"Can I help you with something?"

Part of me wonders just how long he knew I was standing on his porch looking like a complete spaz. I take a few steps forward, attempting to buy myself a few more moments to decide exactly what I want to say to him.

"Dan, can we talk?"

A heavy sigh escapes him.  "About?"

There's no need for me to answer that question.  My silence tells him.  His hand movements mirror my own, finding their way to the pockets of his jeans.  Both of us feel awkward about the discussion we need to have.  I can't read his face; there is no doubt in my mind that he is angry with me for not obeying his warnings to stay away from his daughter. 

"Please?"

He gives a hesitant nod and turns back, shutting the front door of his home and walks down he steps of his porch. 

"Let's talk then."

"I don't want Gabby to know I'm here or that I spoke to you."

He nods again and we walk together silently back to my house.  No one is home; my parents are in Courtney-recovery mode again for the second time this month.  The assaults on local girls have been too much for her, bringing her demons to light through her dreams.  She has vivid nightmares causing her to thrash and scream in her sleep.  Hopefully time back home will help.

We walk to the kitchen, where I pull two bottles of water from the fridge and offer one to him.  He accepts it and takes a seat on the stool beside the island.

"I lied to you."

That was not how I wanted to start this conversation but I knew if I didn't start with that, I'd never say it.

He leans back on the stool, bringing himself to a fully upright position.  His glare meets mine and I swallow so hard that I know he's able to hear it. 

"About?"  His eyebrows lift, causing multiple lines on his forehead to emerge.  Once again, he looks exhausted.  I'm sure this isn't helping.

"I told you I couldn't love Gabby..." I take a step forward and wrap both hands around my water bottle tightly.  My nerves continue to assault me with every truth I tell.