The Tattooed Devil Wears Chucks

Chapter 55: Helping Hands

Gabby.

"Hey Books..." his Adam's apple protrudes and shifts in his neck as he swallows hard.

My eyes stay wide, my breathing rapid, hands shaking, my body feels like it's shutting down, a cold sweat comes over me.

"No. No, no, no, NO." My hands wave in front of me as I begin walking backwards until my back goes flat against the wall of the house.

"Keep calm" he raises both hands. 

"Keep calm..." I repeat with the craziest giggle that has ever escaped me.  "KEEP CALM?!"  I cover my face and begin shaking my head frantically.  "This is another nightmare.  I am losing my fucking mind right now.  Oh my god Gabby, wake up."

I hear him move forward and I put my hands out in front of me to halt him as my eyes reopen.  Jax is definitely standing in front of me.  My Jax.  My deceased boyfriend - Jax.  He looks the same, maybe a little older in the eyes.  I'm imagining this right? He's dead. He's dead, I'm crazy and getting married in a week. That happens to brides right? They imagine that their dead boyfriends come back to life. It's like cold feet, but the Gabby Brooks version where instead of running out of the church they put you in one of those white jackets that you can't escape from and tie you to a bed until you're medicated enough to appear normal again.

"Gabby, I need you to go get your dad.  You cannot tell anyone I am here.  No one!  Do not let on that you are upset for any reason, got it? Go get Dan, right now."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" I scream and hunch over.  "I'm going to throw up."  I begin bawling as my body continues to shake. 

"Gabby, please.  I need you to go get Dan."

He waits a few moments then walks around me, avoiding me to walk into his house. I hear him begin to argue with his mother from outside.

"What the hell is Gabby doing here? You were supposed to get Dan over here! Do you understand what you've done?!"

I hear her mutter something and she returns back outside followed by Jax. She stares at me, making sure I'm not going to scream again. "He doesn't know and you need to tell him..."

He doesn't know... know what? He's dead. He shouldn't know jack shit.

"Gabby tell him."

Before I can even ask what she's talking about Jax begins yelling again. "We don't have time for this, ma! Gabby, for the love of god - go get your dad. I need him over here right now. I will try and explain but I need you to focus. Make any excuse you need to get him into this house without drawing attention to yourself or him."

I can't help it, I reach my hand out and touch his cold leather jacket and then retreat my hand quickly. He's real. "Oh my god" my hands cover my mouth and I begin to sob again.

"Christ" he mutters and turns back to Sue. "You really don't understand what you've done..."

Her head shakes frantically as she reaches around and grips my shoulders. "Jax you don't understand. There are things you don't know..."

"Mom, you need to get Dan over here. Do not call him. Go get him."

"I - I'll do it" I mumble. I need someone here with me telling me I'm not nuts, that person needs to be my dad.

He turns back to me with wide eyes and nods his head yes.  "No one else can come with you.  Just him.  Act normal.  You can freak out and I'll explain when you come back but this needs to stay a secret."

I wipe my face on the sleeve of my NorthFace jacket and take a few deep breaths, looking anywhere but Jax. If I look at him I'm going to continue to lose it. I shake my hands out in front of me to relieve my tension and walk off the porch to walk around their house and back across the street.  He continues to argue with Sue as I round the side of their house.