Abigail

Chapter 7

No, no, no, no! My mind chanted the word over and over as I sat on the floor in my room, retching into the basin.

This couldn't be happening!

But it was.

I was two and a half months late and now I was sick. What was I going to do?

I heard the door open but it was a minute before I could lift my head. When I did, Clara was standing in the doorway, watching me with a knowing and nervous look. A second later, Silas appeared behind her.

They watched me for a minute while I stared pitifully back. Before I could say anything I had to bend over the basin again.

When I was finished, I cringed and tried to mentally prepare myself before looking up again.

"You'd better have food poisoning," Silas said, looking furious.

Why couldn't it be that?

When I only continued to stare at him pathetically, he cursed, making me jump.

"How could you be so stupid?" he asked harshly and I miserably looked at the floor.

He continued to yell at me and I wanted to point out that I never wanted any of this in the first place. But of course, that wouldn't help my situation or make him any less angry.

"You'd better hope I don't lose your customer from this!" he said angrily before leaving and slamming the door behind him.

I covered my face as I cried. A moment later, I felt Clara sit beside me.

"You been washin' like you're supposed to?" she said, touching my back.

I looked at her and nodded. "I was..."

"But?" she said, looking skeptical.

"But maybe a little late sometimes," I admitted.

She cursed under her breath before demanding, "why?"

"I was trying to keep him interested," I said. "I was afraid he'd get bored or somethin' and I'd lose him. So I'd keep him longer sometimes."

She shook her head. "You know better," she scolded.

"I know..." I looked down. "I just didn't think... I was so worried about havin' to go back to the others."

"I know." She sighed.

"Maybe he wouldn't..." I stopped myself, feeling stupid for even thinking it. Of course he's going to mind! He wasn't going to want me to have a baby.

Clara narrowed her eyes. "Abby..." she said with a warning tone.

I avoided her gaze.

"I told you not to get too attached," she scolded. "I told you not to fall for one of 'em!"

"I know," I whispered. That was the reason we almost never used their first names - as a constant reminder that this was business.

"You got lucky with a nice one," she said. "He doesn't love you. They never do."

"I know." I cringed, hating that I allowed myself to feel that way.

She sighed heavily. "Guess it's too late now."

"What am I going to do?" I asked pitifully.

"Silas will take care of it," she said. "But you're still gonna lose time."

"I can't do that!" I protested.

Clara didn't answer right away. She was looking at my stomach and I realized a second late that I was holding it protectively.

She met my eyes and had that knowing look again.

"You can't have a baby," she said. "You already know that."

"I can't kill it!" I argued. "It's not the baby's fault."

"You can't-"

"No!" I didn't let her say it and hugged my stomach tighter.

"You probably won't have a choice," she said a little softer. "Silas isn't going to give you one."

I stared at the floor again. Could he force me? Actually physically force me to do it?

I was afraid to ask.

"It's my child." I looked at her as tears fell down my face.

She looked sad. "I know."

I put my head in my hands and cried, wondering again what I was going to do.

If I refused - if I was even able to refuse - Silas would probably send me to jail. What would happen to me and the baby then?

I believed in God but I'd never been very religious before. My town didn't even have a church, and my parents hadn't really cared anyway. And I certainly hadn't felt endeared to God after what my father did.

So I never prayed before. Now, however, all I could think over and over were pleas for God to protect my baby. I was totally and completely at Silas' mercy and that wasn't a comforting thought.

Please, God! Please save my baby!