Abigail

Chapter15

"I think you'd better be the one to talk to people from now on," I said to Minnie when I returned from delivering the mending that we'd done for a family down the road.

Things had been fine for the last month, but I was starting to get those looks. The ones from men who would like to put me back to work, and other ones from women who were wondering if I was going to try to seduce their husbands. I might not care that much, but I worried about making Minnie lose work, and there wasn't exactly an overabundance as it was.

Minnie frowned but nodded.

Frustrated, I sat down and began working on a pair of pants that needed to be re-hemmed.

I'd been so sure that I would be free after I left Silas, but now I didn't know if I ever would be. Other than Sam and Minnie, no one really knew me here and I'm positive that neither one of them told people where I'd come from. Still, everyone just seemed to know. Apparently, my past was going to follow me for the rest of my life.

"Levi, please don't make so much noise," I said, glancing up to where he sat on the floor, surrounded by some rocks. I think they were supposed to be soldiers in the war.

My thoughts already made it hard to focus on the pants in my hands, but the constant banging from the rocks and shooting noises he made were giving me a headache.

He started playing more quietly and I looked at Minnie.

"How did you do it?" I wondered. People must know about Minnie's past, but she didn't get those looks from what I saw. And they gave her work fairly regularly.

"Patience," she said with a sigh. "It takes folks a long time to get used to you. They'll come around eventually."

How long would that take? Ten years or more? Minnie had lived here for a long time and the people still didn't fully accept her. Maybe they never would.

"How long-" I stopped when Levi crashed his rocks together again and made loud booming noises.

"Levi, please," I said, trying not to get too upset.

He looked at me and quieted again.

"There's no time limit," Minnie said. "It really just depends. Took folks a while to get used to me, and maybe that will help them accept you a little quicker."

She glanced at Levi, and I knew what she was thinking - that maybe it would take them longer because I had a child.

Frowning, I started working on the pants again. I had hoped that I might be able to go out on my own and get more work from people, but apparently that wasn't going to be an option for a long time. People probably wouldn't want to see me at all.

"Hiding away won't help anything," Minnie said, guessing my thoughts. "I understand if you want me to talk to folks about the work, but...don't be afraid to go into town or to talk to anyone. They need to see that you're nice and friendly, and that those things they're thinkin' are all wrong."

I nodded, knowing that wasn't going to be easy.

"It'll still take a while," Minnie said. "But it'll be longer if they don't know anything about you other than what they've heard or assumed."

Nodding again, I resumed working on the pants. When they were finished, I set them aside and picked up a shirt that was missing several buttons.

Levi had gotten noisy again. Apparently, he couldn't help himself and I was really trying to ignore it. A second later, I stuck my finger with the needle when he made a loud booming noise and crashed several of the rocks together.

"Levi! I asked you to stop making so much racket!" I said sharply, dabbing at my bleeding finger with a dark cloth.

Levi looked at me with wide eyes and a trembling lower lip and I instantly felt wretched for yelling at him. I'd never done that before.

"Oh, Sweetie, I'm sorry," I said.

He just continued to look at me, pitifully.

"Go on with your game," I said after a moment.

He sadly looked down at his little men, and moved them around, obviously only doing it because I told him to.

I glanced at Minnie, who looked back at me with an understanding smile.

"Do you want to go outside and find some more rocks?" I tried.

Still seeming shocked, he nodded and dropped the ones from his hands. A minute later, he was outside and I leaned my head into my hands.

"I don't know how to do this," I said before dropping my hands. "I don't know how to be a mother."

"You'll learn," Minnie said. "Don't be too hard on yourself. You're not the first person to scold a child, and he should have listened the first two times."

"I feel terrible," I said. "He looked like he was going to cry."

"You two just need to get used to one another," she said. "Before this, you both had it in your minds that your time was short together. You were both happy all the time and behaved a certain way that wasn't necessarily realistic. But Levi's a normal little boy. He gets into trouble and doesn't always listen, and he's not used to having to listen to you all the time. In time, he'll learn and you will too."

She was right, of course. I'd never had to reprimand or discipline Levi before. Even if he'd misbehaved while I visited, I wouldn't have had much time to do anything about it. But he wasn't perfect. He would need to be told no sometimes. I just wasn't sure I had it in me to actually tell him no or to punish him if he didn't listen.

Minnie smiled and apparently read my thoughts. "You'll both be fine. Being scolded is certainly not the worst thing a child has ever had to endure. I've done my share of it too. He'll get over it."

Thankful again for this wonderful woman, I smiled. I didn't doubt that she had scolded Levi many times before, and he loved her. He would still love me.

"I think I'll go check on him," I said, putting the shirt down and standing.

Minnie just smiled and went back to her work while I slipped outside.