Divorce

∞ of Ten

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A picture of Acacia at the side! :) Today's song is How to save a life by The fray and follow me on Instagram @xx_linny_xx and Twitter @Miss_Popular_97

(September 6th, 2014)

It's been thirteen days since I found out what Jeremy did. It's been thirteen days and he hasn't even tried to contact me. 

On the first day, I thought I was somewhat fine and everything would be better. I talked to Acacia and she's been staying with me since, we went for a jog, I ate and we kind of had fun watching movies together and spending some girl time. What I didn't know was how I would feel after that and trust me, if I had a choice. I wouldn't even want to know. 

Day two, I stayed in bed. Acacia called and called for me but I just couldn't get myself to reply. I stayed in bed for the whole day and ignored all the calls from everyone and just sat. I haven't eaten anything or even had a shower. I was numb. 

Day three, I cried. I cried like a twitch and prayed to god, for him to take the pain away from me. I cried for fifteen hours and more. I cried for life. I cried for my happiness that was stolen. I cried for my broke heart. I cried for the love I have given that will never be returned. I cried for my life that will never return. I cried because I was ruined to emptiness in hands of a man who never cared and probably would laugh at me right now. 

Day four, I lied on the floor for two days. I was numb. I was lying on that floor, wearing one of Jeremy's huge t-shirts that reached my mid-thighs and looked at the ceiling. I looked at the ceiling hopefully, praying to god to take away the pain I carried on my shoulders. To have mercy on me and leave it all a side, but no matter how much I prayed, how much I begged, the whole in my heart will always remain carried by me and so I lied on the floor for two days which leads us to day six.

Day six, I finally unlocked the door in my room and went out to the kitchen and had some coffee. Acacia was still here, she stayed and knocked on my door many times and all I ever did was mumble something that never made sense. After making some coffee, having two sips and leaving it on my counter, I went back to my room and never came out until the next day.

Day seven, I went out of my room for the second time in a week and went for making coffee again. This time I drank half the mug and went back in my room, layed on my bed in Jeremy's shirt that I still haven't changed from the past four days and neither have I showered for seven days now and stayed in bed until Acacia told me to suck it up and eat dinner with her. She made pasta, the one I always tried to teach Jereny but he wouldn't just get it and it was enough for that memory to ruin my appetite and I ran to the bathroom, throwing up everything I have eaten that day, which was only half mug a coffee and two and a half spoons of my dinner.

Day eight, I went out of my room and finished my coffee this time. I took off Jeremy's shirt for the first time in eight days and had a shower. After the shower, I went back into my room and once again looked up the ceiling. Waiting, hoping and praying.