Divorce

∞ of Twenty

(May 11th, 2017)

   You suddenly realize that all the love songs, in desperate need, suddenly become about that person that you crave for so much, that you're not supposed to crave for.

   Throughout all these years, I have learned that people love when they are alone, not when they are ready and with that, they destroy.

   Looking at Jeremy I realized that we were both pieces of forever. We were. We don't know what it's like, or what it would be like until we are both equally damaged.

   He was typing away furiously on his Mac until I called out to him and asked him what he wanted to have for breakfast.

   "What is it that the baby is craving today," was his reply, given by a lop-sided smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

   You see, no matter what you go through, or what people do to you. We are all human in the end, and what humans do is make mistakes, and what they also do very often is forgive. They forgive and trust again, after being broke, after being shattered and they will do it another million times, they will go through it again and they will still make the same decisions because what matters is the now and the rest might never happen, who knows.

   Bad things happen to good people. They happen now and don't last forever. We do not know how long now lasts, all we know is that it doesn't.

   "Cass, baby. Did you hear me?"

   "I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. Raising my hands and gathering my hair up into a high tail, I tied it up and headed over to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast.

   I felt his hands wrap around my waist as I prepared the batter for our pancakes, I turned to look at Jeremy.

   Raising my eyebrow quizzically, I mumbled "What?"

   "Nothing, need help with anything?"

   I snorted.

   "Hey!" I raised my hands up in mock surrender. "I am not that bad!"

   "Sure you aren't."

   "Whatever, you're just jealous you can't cook as good as I do."

   Raising another eyebrow at that, I turned back around to continue mixing the batter. 

   Fifteen minutes of hell with Jeremy bothering me in the kitchen and I was done with the breakfast that almost burnt, obviously because of him.

   Life didn't seem like an easy task when it came to Jeremy, but it was never meant to be easy so why not start of with the hardest and follow the mind.

   I never understood how people could love with their heart. I never wanted to love anybody with a blood pumping machine. I want to love with my entire being. I want to love one with my knees and fingertips. I want to love with my back and mind. I want to love with my wrinkles and scars. I want to love one with all the spaces in between.

   What one could think is beautiful, every mind was and there was no doubt about it. The only darkness in this world is the space between one being and another and that is what bothered us all, what effected us the most.

   Swallowing my last mouthful, I chugged down my freshly squeezed orange juice and looked up at Jeremy, watching him do the same. 

   He was beautiful and it never stopped to amaze me. The way his bronze skin looked so smooth under the sun and under the light of the moon. He was a perfect physical object, but that's all the perfect he could manage.