49 - Suits

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I took a step forward and listened for the click of my heel against the concrete.

“Don’t screw up.”

My breath hitched and the only sound left was the thudding of my pulse in my ears.

I didn’t turn back to look Derek in the eyes. Rather I pulled the edges of my blazer down and smoothed my knee-length legal skirt with the slit down the side that extended only an inch or two before my panty line.

I took another step and tried once again to concentrate on the click of my heel on the concrete.

I needed to focus on something, anything.

No matter what, I could not let myself digest what I was actually about to do. I couldn’t think about the consequences, of Todd, of Jack of Aiden.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to break through the heavy weight of fear and desperation in my chest.

As much as I hated to admit it, Derek was right - I could not afford to let my emotions get in the way.

If I lost control, my friends might not be the only ones to pay the price.

As I took another slow step, I could feel the uncomfortable tension of the pistol stuck in the waste band of my skirt, covered by the blazer.

Panic welling, heart throbbing, feeling heavy I came into sight of the old shed and my eyes automatically darted towards the manhole lying just in front of it.

Though the manhole was rusted, cracked and dirtied almost beyond recognition, it gleamed like the shining entrance to heaven in my eyes. That was my one and only escape route – Derek had made clear that if things did go awry there would be no one coming to save me.

So that dirty rusty manhole was my life.

Pursing my lips, I looked away from the manhole, blocking both it and the shed out of my vision so that I could focus on what’s ahead.

I glanced down to the small metallic watch Derek had given me. It was t-minus two minutes before the deal would take place.

A gust of wind snaked its way through the extra-wide alley, rustling trash and debris and making me shiver in my business wear.

But, with the way my heart was racing, I was glad for the cold. If it weren’t so frosty I’m sure I’d be sweating buckets by now, my hands clammy and unsteady.

I knew one thing for sure, you never wanted to shake on a deal with clammy hands.

I made a fist, noting how frozen and stiff my fingers felt already. The cold and slight breeze would be sure to cover up the perspiring-inducing nervousness I felt. Or at least I hoped it would.

I began walking forward again, but this times as I listened for the clicks, they were dampened by the soggy leaves and trash that littered the ground. In the distance I could see the faint outline of a park filled with deciduous trees barely hanging onto their last few leaves.  

It reminded me of when Jack and I frantically looked for Todd at that one park, only to find him hunched up in a tree. I chewed on my bottom lip again. My heart ached for them, ached for this whole mess to be over and for everyone to just be okay.

Aiden was enough. He was more than enough. I honestly didn’t know if I could handle something like that happening again.  

It was then that I heard a car motor approaching the alley entrance and sure enough a few seconds later a dark grey car with black windows pulled up and parked directly in front of the alley’s mouth.

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