The boy with the grey eyes

Head splitting memories

I jolted awake with a splitting headache, I looked to the aide of me an saw my princess out cold covered in nothing but white bed sheets, I pulled myself out of bed and put on some boxers and sweatpants, when I looked back towards Nala the whole room and her started to fade away and into something different. Now I was gazing at 7 year old me coloring on the bed, my father walked in, he had brown hair that stopped right under his chin and a muscular build, he squatted down next to my bed. Wait, I remember this, this is a memory, I'm watching my own memories...

"Hey kiddo, so listen I gotta go...",

"Oh okay dad, can I come with", I scoffed at my 7 year old self, back then I didn't understand, I ran a hand through my hair and leaned against the wall getting ready to watch one if the worst nights of my life. My dad tried to choke back his tears, he didn't want me to see him cry

"No kiddo...you might not understand right now but you will later on...I'm leaving and I'm not coming back", tears brimmed the eyes of my 7 year old self,

"No dad I wanna go with you take me with you", my dad stood up

"Sorry kiddo", he said before walking out of my room, I jumped off of my bed and ran to the bathroom, and grabbed my toothbrush

"Dad wait!", I shouted as I ran down the hall past my mom and outside, I watched my dad take off on his motorcycle, I ran down the street after him

"DAD NO TAKE ME WITH YOU", i watched as my younger self watched my dad's headlights fade away

"Dad...",

I looked at my mom who was crying as she stood at the end of the walk

"I know you hate me right now but you'll understand later", my mom shouted towards me as I stood crying in the street

"LEAVE ME ALONE", I shouted at her

"I'll leave you alone when you get out of the street", I turned towards the house and walked back, I stormed past her

"You can't stay mad at me forever I'm your mother", she said a I slammed the door behind me. I scoffed at the fact she said that when I was 7

"you have no idea how long I'm gunna be mad, it's gunna be hell raising me", I spat even though I knew she couldn't hear me. Another shot of pain slit my head and it started to fade into another memory

My father and I were out by the car trying to knock cans off of the mail box with stones, my mom came out of the house dressed all fancy

"Oh honey, the cars out of gas", my dad told her, she dropped all of her stuff onto the side walk

"What?! How come you didn't tell me?! I was going to a college interview! Now I'm not gunna get in! I'm 21 and I have a 6 year old! I had a dream but you got me knocked up at 6 and I can't have that dream!",

"You look really smart mom...", my younger self told her

"Well that's a fucking plus huh?!", my mom yelled

"Now I'm just another fucking house wife yelling at her husband in front of the whole fucking neighborhood

What a surprise another shock of pain, it faded back to the room

I looked and saw Nala still sleeping in bed, I felt another shock of pain and my stomach felt weird, I ran into the bathroom and threw up everything, I slowly sat back up, the stood back up and regained my balance, I walked to the sink, I turned on the water before I stuck my mouth under the foset and filled my mouth with water, I turned the water off and slushed the water I had around in my mouth before I spit it into the sink, I looked into the mirror and saw the boy I hated...the angry psychotic broken boy, I screamed and slammed my fist into it, glass jammed between my knuckles and I watched it crumble to the floor. I jumped when I felt a hand on my back, I turned to see Nala wrapped in the sheet

"Baby are you okay?", I shook her off of me and backed away

"No I'm not!! Do you know what it's like to have YOUR OWN MOTHER AND SPECIALISTS TELL YOU YOUR BRAIN IS UNDER DEVELOPED AND YOURE A PSYCHOPATH, AND THATS WHY I SNAP SO MUCH?! THAT I CAN'T FEEL REMORSE LET ALONE LOVE?! i'm crazy...I'M FUCKING CRAZY! And I shouldn't be able to love you...but I do",