Rejection | gxg

Chapter 21

When we got home I didn't know what was going to happen. Things are beginning to feel a lot more real for me lately so when Elan asked me if I wanted to go ahead and get things off my chest as soon as we were alone in her room I froze up. I couldn't find a good way to start.

"Can you hold my hand, please?"

Elan wordlessly did as I asked, running her thumb across my own as she linked our fingers together giving me the support I needed to start talking.

I just had to find the words.

"I don't know how to start." I admitted sheepishly, squeezing her hand. My heart was pounding like crazy even though I willed it to stop. I didn't want my nerves to keep me from moving forward. Elan smiled softly at me and gestured for me to move closer so I took the spot next to her on the bed and leaned into her shoulder.

She chuckled and shook her head at me. "Savannah just lay on me." She said. "I don't bite you know."

"Right." I replied, suppressing a smile.

I shifted on the bed sideways and moved to rest my head on her lap before settling my hands on my stomach and taking a deep breath.

"Better?" She asked.

I nodded. "Better."

"Okay, so what should we start with?"

"I guess with you meeting my mom."

Elan exhaled sharply before letting out a mumble of agreement. "Right...me meeting your mom." She repeated, her uneasiness nowhere near hidden.

I smiled half heartedly, understanding why this would be difficult for both of us to talk about. But we had to do it. We've done enough beating around the bush when it came to my parents. After all how long can I hide out at Elan's without it being brought up by her moms? Or how long until Dennise gets caught lying for me? I can't keep doing that to them.

It's time for me to rip off the bandaid.

"She doesn't trust me when it comes to you." I explained surely. "I spend the most time with you but my mom doesn't know who you are so she assumes the worst. Which in my case is me being gay."

"So you have to convince her you're not by her meeting me?" She asked, biting her lower lip as she waited for my answer.

"Unfortunately, yeah."

Elan shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed as she thought of a response.

"I wish this wasn't something you had to worry about." She settled on saying, bringing a hand down to run her fingers through my hair. I smiled involuntarily at the action and closed my eyes to avoid catching Elan's gaze. "It's not fair." She said, sadness seeping through her voice.

We laid in silence for a while, knowing in our own ways that she'd made her decision to go through with it. It just helped holding each other close while facing the idea of not being together anymore. At this point I couldn't imagine a life without Elan. I didn't even know if she felt the same...but for some reason that eased something in me.

"None of this is fair." I said.

Another moment passed of us not speaking, only letting ourselves be. I kept my eyes shut as she traced her fingertips along my hairline and smiled again when she began to lightly trace circles and random patterns onto my cheek.

It reminded me of the last time we'd been like this.

"What about your date with Dean tomorrow?"

Elan let out a deep sigh and shrugged. "I'll meet him for a movie and let you know how it goes."

"It's for the best." I reminded her, biting my lip to keep from telling her what I really think.