Assassins Desire MxM (Staten Krown)

5

Urge was dead.

If I couldn't focus before now all I could do was think of him. He had sacrificed himself for me. Just like that. It was me who had broken the rules. It was me who had taken the gun without consent. Why the fuck did he take the fall for me?

"I'm sorry," Ardor had said to me.

He was next to me rubbing me on my back. Craving was the one who really had the face that was making me feel sorry for myself though. It was almost that face that said he didn't know what to say. I wished I had stepped up. I wished I had been a man and raised my hand to say something about taking that gun. That wasn't the case though.

I had allowed them to take him away. Lust had explained to us that the person who took the gun would be killed.

"We should get going. We'll be late for our lesson," Craving stated looking down at the floor instead of at me.

He was right. I had been friends with Yearn when she died but it was still early in the process. Now losing someone was taking it's toll. I hadn't slept at all the night before. All I remembered was Urge's limp body being dragged off. That was all that stood out in my mind.

The day went by slow. I couldn't focus on hand-to-hand combat and I was beaten by Ardor of all people. Ardor was pretty much horrible at everything but I still managed to let him beat me. I was the slowest in cardie and hardly lifted any weights.

I wondered if it all mattered.

Later that day it was knives. We were in a bright lit room. To the right there were long pieces of wood carved in the shape of human beings. We had many knife training classes before but I had never focused on any of them. I was so concerned with guns that knife was secondary. I don't think anyone really focused on knives, not even Lust.

Lust described knives as, "A good last effort in case you run out of bullets in the field."
She never described what "the field" was or explained just what kind of missions we'd be going on when or if we made it out of the training school. Everything was above our rank or a question that we should have asked Tom when we first met him.

For right now we were training to kill.

No one had any idea of who we were training to kill but based on this kind of training the target definitely had to be hard to kill.

"Good job with the spinning on your knife throw," Lust stated stepping behind me.

"Thanks."

"You're tense."

You just killed my friend you stupid bitch. Yes I was tense. She said it as though she was concerned. I hated the fact that she seemed like she cared sometimes. I wished she was just like the moderators. It would have made things less confusing.

"Sorry..."

"No, don't apologize," she stated, "It's a good thing. Use it. Channel whatever anger you have when you are throwing that knife."

I stepped back behind the line. I was given a rugged, drop point knife similar to the ones everyone else was using as well. The target was a wooden plank across the room. There were different stations set up for the knife throwing and I was trying my best to get the most out of everything. I had completely decided to put all my energy into using the knife.

"Get to know your knife. Feel the handle. Understand the length of it," she explained, "Find a comfortable way to hold it so that it rests in the palm of your hand."

I flung it across the room sending it spinning. It hit the target almost dead center.

"Fuck."

"No. That was good," Lust stated going over to retrieve the knife for me, "You only have a 50/50 percent chance to hit your target if it spins. You should practice making sure your knife does not spin."