Destroying Love

Nineteen

After that night, waking up is fucking impossible.

I force myself to drink a cup of coffee, even though I hate it. I nearly throw up twice, but I keep going until the caffeine kicks in. Then, I'm ready to start the day.

Today, I feel like something big will happen. Like today is the day I'm getting answers. We need to do something. Now.

Fuck the nightmares. Fuck the conflicted emotions—I hate that word—that I might have. Fuck Brandon Haynes.

Destroy him. Let him go. You need to focus.

That's what I have in mind as I walk towards the computers area. I'm walking fast, not once greeting any agents on my way. But when I reach my destination, I slow down and come to a total stop at the view in front of me.

Nova and Brandon face each other, standing close. I don't know what they're saying, but at some point, Brandon is smiling. I realize I can't even tell if his smile is real because I don't know what is real and what is fake anymore.

Am I real? Am I fake? When am I telling the truth? When am I lying?

I can't even tell anymore.

Sighing, I close my eyes and rub them. When I look in the couple's direction again, they're kissing.

I shouldn't stay there, watching them. I shouldn't notice how Nova reaches to stand closer to him, how she wraps her arms around his neck, runs her hands through his hair, while Brandon keeps his hands in his pockets but leans down, kissing her back.

It makes me want to throw up even more than the coffee, but I contain myself.

Andrew appears to my side and grimaces.

"That's not even cute. Take a room or something." He mumbles and rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

I stare at him, raising an eyebrow. "Surely, you need to get laid."

Narrowing his eyes, he crosses his arms. "Look who's talking. I don't even understand how you can stand there, looking at them."

I'm good at controlling my anger. But of course, I don't say that. Sure, it disgusts me to see them, but it's like I can't look away. It's like seeing them right now, for the first time being so close and so in love, suddenly makes me realize that they are together.

It's real. And I can't forget that.

At some point, Mr. Neil steps in and notices them. Clearing his throat, he gives them a pointed look just as they step back from each other.

Nova, pleased with herself, tucks a strand of her black hair behind her ear and gives Brandon a small smile. When I look at him to see what he does, his eyes are on me and Andrew.

Great.

Holding his gaze just for a few seconds, I finally walk to stand beside Mr. Neil and place my hands behind my back.

Garry looks around, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

"Where is Agent Leigh?" he demands, shaking his head.