Terrestrial Alien ✔

Chapter 46: Our Past... Our Future

S e t h

"Could we really actually find them?" Joshua asks me, breaking the silence that's plagued us since we came downstairs. He's seated across from me at the kitchen island, picking at his late lunch/early dinner of cold oatmeal and fruit. "How? If they're actually even out there... What would they be like? Do you know where they might be?"

I stare at the mush in my own bowl. Every one of his questions is just a reiteration of my own, which have been racing through my mind since he confirmed my suspicions with my map.

"I don't know what they'd be like... I don't even know where to start looking for them." I admit sullenly.

Joshua hums and takes another bite of his oatmeal. "Can't the map help us?"

He gestures his spoon in the direction of the meteorite map between us on the table, the movement threatening to slop oatmeal onto the page. We've taken it off the wall, out of the collage, and it left a lonely bare spot that had resonated with me. I had been eager to follow Joshua out of the room, as if to escape the knowing stare of that hole we left behind.

Now I look at the map uncertainty. "It's old though, and it isn't specific. It doesn't have cities... or dates."

For all we know, any creatures like me could have died or been captured long ago... Or traveled somewhere far away from their crash site.

Or they don't exist at all, and I truly am alone. An anomaly...

I bite down on my lip, trying hard to hide from Joshua the fear that is welling up in me.

"Then we find a more specific one." Joshua says decisively, breaking me out of my whirlpool of anxiety. My head snaps up, and I blink at him.

"What? How? I got this one from the library, and we can't go back there now or..."

Or Perkins will catch us.

I can see the thought echoing in Joshua's eyes. He looks down to frown at his bowl.

"That's true." He admits, jabbing his spoon around. "We need more information though... If there are any blogs or websites—for instance, like Shari's SomethingStrange—that are talking about weird things that are happening, things like you, then... We'd have a better lead."

"We need a computer though." I remind him. "Can we really risk going out there for this?"

I fidget with my spoon, and my uncertainty shines through in my voice more than I'd like it to.

"I mean... It is important, but... Honestly?" I tense as I wait for Joshua's honest opinion, and he notices. With a guilty look, he sighs. 

Quietly, he answers, "No... I don't think it's something we can risk right now. But... I don't think it should be my decision to make."

A jolt of surprise runs through me. He's turning the decision over to me? Really? I stare at him, but he doesn't meet my gaze.

"Are... Are you making me choose between what I want to do and what we should do?" I look at Joshua incredulously, caught by the weight of such a decision. "That's not a fair choice! You should make the decision, it's easier that way. You're less emotionally invested!"

"I am emotionally invested!" Joshua argues, slamming his spoon down onto the table. "I'm emotionally invested in you. And I don't want to have to decide on something this important to you!"

Again, I'm caught.

I make a face at him, and he makes one right back. He stares me down, and I'm already growing weary of arguing. I groan, pushing my bowl away to set my head in my arms. This is getting us nowhere...