Forever: The Beauty of Robsten

Chapter 11: He Knew

I met Cath, Taylor, and the gang at the Starbucks in the airport. I ordered myself a skim latte and sat down at the nearest table opposite Taylor. He was blathering about some story, and I pretended to be listening, nodding and mhm-ing at the right times. My mind was on Michael. He got really upset when I told him we'd be filming in Oregon, miles and miles away from L.A. He was worried our relationship would turn into a long-distance one, and both of us knew those ones don't work. Ever.

I managed to calm him down after I told him that he could visit any time he wished, Catherine really enjoyed his company, and he got along with Kellan and Jackson as if they've been friends since birth. He lightened up at that, but frowned when he realized he was still filming his own movie, which wouldn't end for another month. I told him we'd Skype and text and stuff, but he didn't care. He stormed off and left my house without saying goodbye Saturday, and didn't answer any of my texts or calls. I felt rotten, but at the same time, we were actors, and this was a given. He needed to understand that just because I'm away filming, doesn't mean we are over, but he didn't, and all that day he kept ignoring my attempts of approaching him.

I was reading one of the books Rob gave me around 2am last night when i heard the doorbell. I already knew who it was without peeping through the whole. I opened it up and he engulfed me with one of his loving embraces. He kissed every inch of my face and strangled my hips, as if he'd never let me go. he pulled his head a fraction of an inch away and kept whispering apologies in my ear. he called himself a lot of nasty names, and said he'd come by to Oregon when he'd finished filming. He finally let go so I wouldn't suffocate. I forgave him of course, but felt...i didn't feel...right. There was this moment of..of rejection i had in my body when he embraced me. It was absurd, usually I get really caught up in these moments, i have trouble breathing right, but i didn't then. I didn't enjoy it as much as i should've. It's like when you go on one of those much anticipated dates and the guy is doing everything he can to make it as special as possible but you just didn't feel it? That's how I felt. He asked what was wrong, and i lied. I never lie, especially not to Micheal, but I did. I said nothing was wrong, then he said the three magic words, and i returned them with a big smile on my face, battering my eyelashes. Disgusting. He left soon after, and the fact that i behaved like that with Michael has been bothering my mind all night, and all day today. Don't get me wrong, saying "I love you too" wasn't the lie, everything else was. I loved him, of course I loved him, I knew that since we first met years ago, so why was I doubting myself now? After all this time? These two questions sent me massive headaches every time i thought too deeply about it. Not a good sign. I was interrupted in my thoughts when i heard a familiar British-accented voice not too far away. My face broke into an involuntary smile as he approached.

"Hey Kris! Is that a skim latte?" he asked curiously giving me a side-ways hug with one arm. I looked up at him...and my mind, seemed to care nothing about what happened last night, instead it only cared about the 6'1 shaggy-haired man standing in front of me. I still don't understand how he manages to do that every time i lock eyes with him. Suddenly the Michael issue seemed irrelevant and my body felt a lot calmer than it has in the last 48 hours.

"Yeah, want some? I don't think I can finish the grande I ordered. They were out of tall sized cups." I offered him my half finished latte, he seemed pleased. He smiled wide as he took it from my hands and started sipping from the exact place my mouth has been. It sent shivers through me, but i chose to ignore it. Things like that happened quite frequently when Rob was around, i ignored them each time. It was nothing, i told myself, yet i lied. I seemed to be doing that quite often now. It was something.