Coffee, Tea // Spencer Reid

Chapter 42 - Party By Myself

An hour before

Jeanine

The party wasn't so fun anymore. She could feel Spencer would have preferred to spend time doing something else. Yet, all she wanted was to be with him. He'd been so nice to her for the short time they had together, he was starting to make her forget about her ex. She was happy with him, but she was fearing Spencer was not reciprocating. It hurt to know he was always so detached when they were together. She wanted him to know how she felt.

« Hey, Jeanine, I'm gonna grab something in my coat, I left it in the entrance, I'm coming back, okay? »

Jeanine nodded, and he was gone.

A few seconds later, she heard a loud buzz. She looked around, only to realise it came from his cellphone. The young woman grabbed the phone to switch it off. As she turned it around, her eyes swept the screen, and she nearly gasped as she saw the singular message:

Lilith
I like you.

Jeanine was at a loss for words. Her jaw had dropped. This could explain a lot of things. She stared at the message for ten seconds, not knowing what to do. If Spencer saw her with his phone in her hands, he'd be mad at her for snooping around... And if he saw the message, he'd probably go after Lilith. Jeanine knew it was selfish, but she wanted Spencer for herself. Her fingers quickly opened the telephone, and hovered over the delete button.

Should I really be doing this?

The young woman realised how messed up the whole thing was. If Spencer was with her, it was probably for a reason. She didn't need to fight with Lilith for him. If she wanted to say how she felt, it was her right to. As she went to quit the app, her finger accidentally pressed the button. The message disappeared.

"Fuck." She covered her mouth with her hand, realising her mistake.

"Are you ok?" Spencer came from behind, taking her by surprise. "Why are you looking at my phone?" He frowned.

"Oh, no, it's nothing, I was just checking the time and I thought it was a bit late... Maybe we should go home?

"It's the middle of the party, we can stay one hour more if you want. I know you're being nice to me because you know I don't like parties, but you're allowed to have fun." He gave her a small smile.

Her heart ached, knowing how kind he was to her. He didn't deserve this, but she didn't want to tell him the truth, it would do more harm than good. Spencer would think she was jealous and evil, and would break up with her for looking in his phone. Well, more like stop seeing her. It wasn't like they were seriously dating. She was serious about him, of course, but she wasn't feeling the same from him. There was always a weird feeling, as if he avoided the word girlfriend, like he wasn't completely at ease with her. They'd never kissed, after all. All she wanted was for him to like her the same way she liked him. Jeanine could see it in his eyes, there was something missing. She grabbed his hand, hoping he'd notice her. Spencer simply looked at her, surprised. He gave her a small smile. Despite him being so familiar with the human psyche, he couldn't trick her. She knew the smile wasn't genuine. The way Spencer hadn't squeezed her hand back, the way his fingers were limp between hers... Jeanine could tell, and she didn't need to be a profiler.

"Maybe I should get us some drinks?" She asked, hoping to perhaps open him up a little.

The doctor looked at his watch.

"Well, we're leaving in fifty five minutes, and taking in account the drinks we've had before, we can't have more alcohol if we want to be able to drive underneath the blood alcohol content limit. So, I'd rather have pepsi at this point I think."

Jeanine sighed. There were unpleasant sides to dating a fed after all.

"Pepsi it is then."

Three quarters of an hour later, the doctor had managed to gulp down five cans of pepsi. Jeanine just stayed there, slightly impressed. She had barely touched her first can. In fact, she didn't really like pepsi. She just wanted to go along.

"Are there more cans?" Spencer asked, a little shaky. His caffeine addiction was becoming increasingly apparent.

"You want more?" Jeanine asked, her jaw dropping slightly.

"... Maybe."

She looked over at the kitchen, noticing another six pack of the drink. She also noticed Garcia and Lilith, eyeing both her and Spencer attentively. Turning back to the doctor, she answered "No, there are no more cans left."

As she saw his face of disappointment, she realised something. He'd been drinking because he was bored.

"Hey, Spencer, maybe we should go home..."

"Yeah, okay."

The two of them both put on their coats and left the party.

As they reached the bottom of the staircase, the two of them heard the click of a door coming from one of the floors above, followed by quick footsteps.

"What was that?" Spencer wondered, his BAU instincts intervening.

"Probably nothing." Jeanine replied as she opened the front door of the building. "Let's go."

They walked back silently, only halting when they reached the midpoint between their two cars.

"I guess this is goodnight, then."

But Jeanine didn't want it to be goodnight. She wanted to be with him. To have him. And yet, he never looked her way. But tonight, he was going to.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and tilted her head.

Their lips collided.

Spencer was confused at first, but when he realised what was going on, he gently pulled away from the kiss.

"Jeanine, I..."

"You don't like me, I get it."

"I do like you, you're a nice person."

"Just not a nice girlfriend."

He looked down, at loss for words.

"Spencer, you don't like me in that way, just ... come to terms with it. This kiss probably made you realise it, no?"

"I...yes, maybe. Perhaps it's better we stop dating."

"I think so too." Jeanine replied. She could feel tears in her eyes, but forced herself not to cry. She could cry at home, just not in front of him.

"Can we stay friends?" Spencer asked.

Ah, yes. The infamous "Can we stay friends?". Yet this time, he didn't seem like a hypocrite. She genuinely did want to be friends with him. She nodded.

"Goodnight, Reid."

Jeanine turned back and started walking toward her vehicle. After a few meters, she spun around.

"Spencer?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe you should come to terms with the fact you like someone already."

She gave him a small smile and made her way back to her car, leaving Spencer confused in the parking lot.